Life, Love and Loss

One year ago I lost someone dear to me.  My mother was 89 years young when she died.  But for 89 years she was more alive than anyone I have ever known.  She loved her family and her friends completely and without reservation.  She respected strangers unless they disrespected someone she knew. She was a 5’3” firebrand!  I have seen her stand up to a 6’ man because he was rude to a waiter.  He backed down and apologised. She once stopped the car she was driving, in a busy intersection, because a kid in the back tossed something out the window. Never dare her to do something, because she would.  She was fearless.  People loved her and she never understood why. My mother was my friend, my confident.  She believed in me when I didn’t.  She saw not only the good in people but the great they could be.  When she was in her twenties she flew in a tiger moth.  It was a small open plane. When she was 87 years she went up in a glider plane.  Like I said, fearless.

Tiger-Moth-flying  mom at 89

In the past year I have come to terms with a deep hole in my life. I know that death is a part of the cycle, part of life.  Hopefully we are capable of living fully because we know our time is finite. I also know that both of my parents are still with me.  My father died January 3, 2007 of pneumonia after five days in hospital. My mother died May 17, 2012 after being ill and bedridden for five days. I am the product of my parents.  Yes their DNA is swimming through my veins but they also guided me from an infant, through the angst of youth and the rigors of adulthood.  They allowed me to make my own mistakes, and learn my own lessons, but they were always near.

I am proud of the person I have become and I know they were proud of me as well. I have hefty role models to live up to. They taught me that we should always aspire to be more than we are.

I am not alone.  I have a brother and a sister, a brother-in-law,  a nephew, cousins, aunts and uncles, and friends close enough that I call them family.  I am truly not alone.  Some days I would trade everyone for another day with my parents.  I’m sure everyone that loses someone they love feels the same way.  But they are truly always with me!  And I have a life to live.  The only way to have a good life is to live it in the forward position, one step in front of the other striving for the future and enjoying the present while respecting the past.  Each day has something positive and beautiful in it.  And I intend to exploit every day in the nicest possible way!

Like lifeboats in time, memories remain.

2 thoughts on “Life, Love and Loss

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