My body is a canvas

March 29 2014 017


I have lived more than half a century.  In that time I have felt joy, sadness, anger, anxiety and a myriad of other emotions.  Each one of them has left its mark on me in some way.  I have suffered cuts and bruises, breaks and sprains.  My journey is painted on my soul, on my heart and on my face.  It is a badge of honour I wear with pride.

There are scars on my body and laugh lines around my eyes.  I have immersed myself in my life and it was one hell of a ride!  The truth of the matter is I am not done yet!  There are places to go, people to see and actions to take.  I’m having the time of my life in the moment I am experiencing right now.  When I was a child I always looked forward to what I was hoping would happen.  Now from the luxury of distance I look back on my childhood fondly.  I grew up in an era when I was allowed to be a child.  I played without fear of pedophiles and nuclear bombs.  I grew up in blissful ignorance.  I didn’t grow up until I had to.  I look at children today and I’m so sorry that they seem to be missing the idyllic freedoms I had.

I live with a degenerating disease. Okay that is a fact.  I find joy in my life almost every day.  That too is a fact.  (Yes there are some days when I am really, really not happy.) I think my eyes are too close together, my nose is too big, my hips are . . . . you get the picture.  What is more important than all of that is the fact that I like myself.  I happen to think that I am a very nice person.  Yes I do have a somewhat twisted sense of humour but that is just fine with my friends.  I am loyal to those I care about and I care deeply about those that matter.  Joy is a word that describes a feeling. Delight, happiness and pleasure also describe feelings that I experience. I take great joy in my friends, my cat, my family, the world in general, with several notable exceptions of course. I will not use the words which would describe about how I feel towards some individuals, it would completely change your impression of me!

The point is I like most of the circumstances of my life.  Not all of them. I’ll bet you don’t like everything about your life.  I concentrate on the matters that give me pleasure, that give me a sense of fulfillment and I file the rest under pending.



14 thoughts on “My body is a canvas

  1. Sharon Walmsley

    After to-days post, I have said to 2 other people already to-day (they asked me for answers and thing’s they want me to do) “that is under my pending list” thank’s again Pam


  2. Bradley

    I LOVE this post. Yeah, there are a lot of things going on in my life that I’m not thrilled with, but, you’ve given me pause to look at it and see all the joy as well. What a wonderful gift.


  3. MikeW

    This essay leads readers to live now and look back less; as one of your rhyming poems may say: priceless!


  4. emilievardaman

    It is important to like oneself. And I happen to have a twisted sense of humor, too.
    I have had a few horrible situations in my life. I decided that they would not control me. They would not manage my life. They are a part of my life, part of my history. But I have chosen to live with the lessons they taught me and not dwell on the problems they caused me.
    Stay strong.



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