Miniature Suburban Creatures

(This is something a little different.  Think of it as a early Christmas present.  I hope you enjoy it)


A number of years ago a discovery was made that has astounded the scientific world.  Several young hippos and a few other tiny beasts were located in suburban homes.  It does seem to defy the laws of physics that such animals can actually exist.  The name that these animals have been given is the Miniature Suburban Creatures.  Perhaps it is just our need for a touch of whimsy in our lives that has created these small wonders. No one knows the reason, but one thing is undeniable:  these animals exist and you are lucky indeed if you ever get a chance to meet one.

While still rare, the most common of these tiny creatures is the hippo.

Miniature Suburban Hippopotamuses (also known as Sub Hippos) are a branch of the Hippopotamus amphibius or regular-sized hippos.  Sub Hippos are occasionally found in suburban homes making their nests in closets.  They typically feed on cat and/or dog food but they do seem to enjoy fresh vegetables and fruit.  These mysterious animals are usually only discovered when tiny foot prints are noticed on food that has been left out over night.  These gentle creatures are shy.  And while they are extremely intelligent, they prefer to live a solitary life. The sub hippo’s lifespan is typically forty or fifty years, as is that of its full-sized cousin.

Sub Hippos average four to five inches long and two inches tall at the shoulder.  Their weight is usually calculated in the ounces.


A short time ago, a young hippo was discovered in an elderly man’s closet.  The hippo had made a nest out of discarded tissues, ripped up newspaper, and straw which had probably been collected from packaging that had been delivered earlier that year. He was found rather abruptly when a young woman went to clean out the closet of her recently-deceased uncle.   It is not known how the young hippo had managed to find a home in this man’s closet.  Since the gentleman had never notified anyone of his young house guest, there is no way of knowing how long he had been in residence.  The woman who made the initial discovery is expected to recover completely but she is does not wish to take on a house guest. Consequently, this Sub Hippo needs a home.


I would like to introduce you to Horace.  No one knows how old Horace actually is.  He is quiet, clean and rather shy.  Horace loves fresh fruit and vegetables.  If you have a garden you might find him occasionally nosing in amongst your flowers.  He will cause no damage to your plant life. Perhaps he just likes the feeling of playing with the petals.

In the time that this young Sub Hippo has been in the care of Miniature Animal Control (MAC for short), Horace has proven time and time again that he will not be confined.  An attempt was made to temporarily house him in a bird cage, with disastrous results.   Next a large aquarium was selected.  It is strongly recommended that no method of confinement be attempted that requires the use of glass, or anything breakable.  Horace may be small but his hide, and his willfulness, is quite comparable to his larger cousins.

Horace is not a pet; rather he is a quiet visitor in your home.  It is possible that you will awake one day and find him gone.  So until that time, enjoy the company of your small house guest, and please leave out the occasional banana.






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