I wanted my first full post of the year 2015 to be insightful and germane. I wanted to connect with people with words that were touching and provoking. Here I am telling you all the things I was going to do. And yet…
We have just finished celebrating Christmas and New Year’s. There was, I am sure, frivolity and good natured rabble rousing! But here’s the thing: Christmas is a sad time for me. For me the event has always been a celebration of family. Good food, good friends, good times. Seven years ago I lost my father. 2 ½ years ago I lost my mother. They were part of Christmas and now they’re gone. Also in 2014 I lost my feline companion of 16 years. Her brother departed five years before that. So you can see I spend way too much time at Christmas thinking about who I have lost. I am writing this on January 3 for posting on January 4. On January 3, 2007 I received a phone call. My father was gone.
Now thinking about my father I know exactly what he would say about all this maudlin reminiscing. He would not approve! My mother is looking over my other shoulder going “Tsk, tsk, tsk! We raised you better than that!” Honestly I swear my parents are sitting on my shoulders and the weight is sometimes overwhelming!
I have also been thinking about the day I was born. I may have attended the event but I have no first-hand recollection of it. I can only recount it because my mother told me the story so many times. She usually did so after I had been caught doing something incredibly stupid because I was always in such a hurry. She used to say that I was born in a hurry and that her actual labour only lasted 20 minutes! She maintained that if the doctor delivering me had been standing a little to one side I would have been splattered against the far wall. Who knew?
I guess with the beginning of the new year we look back to the past before moving on. It is vitally important that we never forget our past, good or bad. I don’t want to forget the pain of losing those I loved. I don’t want to forget the anguish, the uncertainty or the humiliation of past events. I would be afraid that if I lost the bad I would also lose the good. I want to remember the love of family and friends. I want to remember my kitten purring in my ear as I rubbed her belly. She may be gone but her memory remains like a lifeboat in time. I want to remember the first time I opened a book that had been published with my words in it. I want to remember that first comment on my first blog post. It was an incredible feeling!
As we go forward in life there are going to be good times and bad times. There will be incredible highs and incredible lows and all of it will contribute to the amazing people that we are, or could be. Embrace the less than stellar times and find something positive out of it. Never take for granted the wondrous times and try to pay it forward. This beautiful world we are inhabiting could be a paradise for everyone. Let’s make that our goal. One step at a time my friends, one step at a time.