They say ‘time heals all wounds’. Well I’m here to tell you it ain’t so. Time gives you a different perspective on events, a means to distance you from the pain. Is it a cure for the pain? No. Time is a concept that was created by individuals to label and control the changes that happen throughout the course of their lives. So, time is a means of control. Curious. Does that mean that giving yourself ‘time’ to get used to an idea is actually giving you control over that idea? Well, yes.
One of the most difficult issues people with disabilities have to contend with is the loss of control. We cannot control our bladder, our legs, perhaps our lives. For anyone that is used to working and living independently that is a horrific situation. But if ‘time’ is really ‘control’ then we can take back what we lost: control. It just takes time. Let me explain. I can no longer walk. My legs do not work. Over time I have come to accept that. This, however, does not mean that I can no longer do what I once accomplished by walking. Getting from one place to another does not have to be done on the soles of your feet. It can be accomplished on the tires of a wheelchair. Because I can no longer stand I cannot reach items on my kitchen shelves. I employ the use of a ‘reacher’ which increases my reach by several feet. I once again have control back.
What we have to accept is that things have changed. Now, we can give up any control we have, go into an institution and let someone else decide the course of our lives or take back control. Yes it will take time. But nothing of any real importance was ever easy. Take the time, take control.