I am in a reflective mood today. I am thinking back through the times in my life and I am wondering if the paths I chose, the decisions I made were the right ones. Do you ever wonder how things would be if you had chosen a different path? Usually I don’t ask myself questions that have no answers, usually. I guess I am wondering if I did the right things when there was a choice and did I make a difference? Did I help or did I hinder? Have I been honourable in the choices I have made? Do I have any regrets? Yes. I was cruel to a friend almost forty years ago and I still feel shame. She has probably forgotten me and those days but those incidents, those friends helped to shape the person I eventually became. Today I will not knowingly cause another pain.

Do you ever wonder what influence you might have on someone? Do you ever think that being nasty to someone might have a consequence you cannot even imagine? Every action we take can and does have an effect somewhere. It might only be affecting us but that in itself that can cause a chain reaction that can have unknown consequences to us and to other people. I realize that this sounds like circular logic but it does force us to take responsibility for our actions. Just because you have a few difficulties does not release you from your obligations to the rest of the world. We do not live in insular little rooms where what we think and do affects no one. Everything has consequences and we must take responsibility for what we do and who we are.

The fact that I cannot walk and that I am in a wheelchair forces me to take responsibility for how I act. As I have said before: you cannot run over other people’s feet when you are annoyed. But it goes deeper than that. No one is at fault for my condition. I am not at fault. I have met too many people who feel that someone should pay because they have a disability. I have met people who blame anyone who is in better shape physically, financially, or emotionally than they are. That is just silly. If someone causes me pain then I expect them to atone, but I am not going to spend the next fifty years complaining about it. There are some things that are no one’s fault. It is time people stopped looking for someone to blame and just got on with doing the right thing. If something is broken, spend your time fixing it not trying to find someone to blame for the damage. Granted, it does make sense to discover how the damage happened in the first place so it doesn’t happen again, but that is secondary. Ah yes, that responsibility issue again. You would almost think it was a new concept the way everyone tries to avoid taking it.

10 thoughts on “Reflections

  1. emilievardaman

    The older I get the more I look back and consider decisions I have made. I also consider my parents’ decisions. I was raised in the Chicago area immediately post WW2. I was almost raised in southern California. Who would I have become if I’d been raised there instead?
    And I look at my own choices. There are a few that clearly ended up not being good for me. Rather, it would have been better for me if I’d chosen something else.
    But here I am. Here we are. We do the best we can, we educate those who bother to listen.
    Life is good.


  2. scifihammy

    I do think everything is inter-connected, and our past behaviour, and other people’s mould us into who we are today.
    And I see people trying to blame others all the time when something goes wrong.
    Like you I try to accept what is, and make the most of it; and take a lesson from the kittens in your photo, and live in the now. 🙂


  3. Jack Flacco

    Newton once said, “Every action has an equal and opposite reaction.” And I know it’s directed toward physics, but one can’t help but wonder if he wasn’t referring to the very existence we humans have on this earth.

    I’ve noticed what happens to people who treat other people badly. Those folks eventually end up badly. Same goes for the good guys. As much as it doesn’t make sense to be nice to people without expecting anything in return, it actually works. I hate that term, “Pay it forward.” It means people do stuff eventually expecting something in return. Why not do it because it’s the right thing to do? Good deeds should not have a transaction attached to them.

    Anyway, I think I’ve gone off on a tangent–but–you did this to me! 🙂 Great post!



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