Love Is A Thing!

mom and dad

What is true love? My parents were married for 58 years. They were best friends, confidants and lovers. They were also completely different people. My father was a hermit. He would love to have been stranded on a deserted island with my mother, a few books and his music. My mother was a social butterfly. She loved a good party and she loved to be around people. And yet these two disparate people had a very successful marriage. How is that possible?

Love isn’t quantifiable. When you love someone you love all of them. Otherwise it’s just really strong like or lust. You don’t love someone in spite of their flaws, you love them because of their flaws. Even if those flaws are more like crevices! Those flaws, those imperfections if you will, are what make you unique. Perfection is an abstract that doesn’t really exist. We can aspire to perfection but is not actually attainable.

Oh, and we all have them. Honestly. Flaws. Imperfections. Deficiencies in our character. We have blemishes on our bodies and defects on the inside. But all of that is what makes us special! There is only one George Clooney and that makes him special. Ok, yes so does his talent, his looks, his . . . I will bet that he has things about himself he doesn’t like. He’s human! (He is also near perfection!) Oh, sorry, forget that! (Whew!) He puts his pants on one leg at a time and he still has to move his bowels. So do you and so do I.

Back to love. What is it that makes us love someone? We are often attracted to someone’s smile or their eyes. Maybe it’s the way they speak or the way they move. But what is the spark deep down inside our soul that connects with another so totally. I was in love once. I would’ve given up everything if he had asked it. I would have left my family and followed him wherever he went. I had butterflies in my stomach when I saw him. My heart beat a little faster and my mouth was dry when he touched my hand. My world was a little richer and more colourful when he was in it. That same world collapsed when he betrayed me.

I love my friends and would do anything for them. I love my family. I love food, good conversation and a wicked joke. I love life, my life. Are there imperfections around me? Absolutely! But that’s part of what makes everything so unique and so wonderful! So if you’re looking for flaws and imperfections, look first to yourself. Honey we ain’t perfect. But damn we’re fun!

man on edge 2

30 thoughts on “Love Is A Thing!

  1. Pingback: Love Is A Thing! – Miss Doriah

  2. Mark Lanesbury

    Great post, and a very true look within…but I’m still looking (I know there’s an imperfection in there somewhere 🙂 I’m kidding!).
    I’m actually looking for that ‘thing’ that makes me ‘feel’ that I’m an imperfection, because I have seen and understood a perfection, and it is when we remove any and all those things that we hold against ourselves, and trust me, we can do it very sneakily 🙂 Walls of fear that we must look into, understand and then release.
    When I was shown that unconditional love, it was the total absence of any thought against myself, and a total acceptance of who I am…and it was the most beautiful, serene and loving place to be in.
    That is our journey, to understand who we are, release what is no longer us, each time getting closer and closer to that place within us.
    Thank you for sharing Pam, it reminds me to love myself a little more, so that I can love others that way too 🙂


    1. quiall Post author

      Mark you have a beautiful way of saying things that make sense. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I am so pleased you follow my blog!


      1. Mark Lanesbury

        Thank you Pam, and it is my pleasure, finally…I’ve followed at least three times before it ‘took’ properly 🙂
        Maybe I needed to stay ‘distant’ for a while. we both may have been working on ourselves and didn’t want our great minds to distract each other 😀


  3. Sunshine Jansen

    Love is a thing, indeed… I’ll always remember meeting an old friend of my husband’s at a party and her saying “So are you two married or are you just tolerating each other?” Well, 12 years later, we’re still doing a bit of both! Some days I really don’t know how we got here (and my parents never will; he’s their age so there’s no 58 years together in our future…) but as long as I still get that little sped-up heartbeat when he smiles, I’m sticking with it!


  4. Léa

    You are so very fortunate to have had your parents to ‘teach’ you about love. They were indeed fortunate to find each other. So many never have love in their life which makes it extremely difficult to know what it is or is not. Everyone deserves it, alas many never find it.
    Imagine a world were everyone is loved for just who they are. 🙂


      1. Léa

        I can’t imagine what that would be like with parents. It wasn’t my experience. However, a daughter is always with me, in my heart.


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