Control Issues


That was going to be my topic for discussion in this post. And then… nuthin’! You know what it’s like. You have this fabulous idea that’ll resonate with the masses and then you hit that proverbial writers wall. It stinks! And it makes me cranky! It’s never a good idea to make a redhead cranky. Especially if she’s a greying redhead!

Now you know we all like to be in control of our lives. We like to have a say in where we are going and what we’re going to do. But don’t you think that sometimes you would rather not be in control! I don’t consider myself a control freak. Most the time I’ll go with the flow. But every now and then… it’s my way or the highway!

I remember once going on a date with a very nice young man and while I liked him I didn’t have any strong opinions about him one way or the other. He picked me up outside my parents’ house to take me to dinner and a movie. When I got in the car he asked me what movie I wanted to see. Such a polite young man. I stated that I had no preferences that I’d like to see whatever he wanted to see. And that’s where things went to hell. He said no, no it was my choice. I thanked him and stated again that I had no preference, I didn’t even know what was playing so he should choose. Now a bright man would have realized I didn’t want control of the situation, I was quite happy for him take control. Instead he handed me a newspaper and said you choose. That was wrong on so many levels.

I don’t remember what we saw because it obviously didn’t matter to me. We went to dinner and he regaled me with stories about sports and trucks. Sports and trucks. Sports and trucks. Yep! That went well. He was a nice guy and we stayed friends but we never dated again.

Not everybody who likes to be in control has to be in control all the time. If I have an opinion I will tell you. Honestly, I will not be shy about it. I spent my childhood and most of my youth being afraid to voice my opinion. I was afraid it was going to be wrong or I would look stupid. Honey I look stupid, all the time doesn’t bother me anymore. Everybody has moments of looking and being stupid. Oh, forgive me I probably shouldn’t use the word stupid. Let me check my thesaurus. Foolish, unwise, imprudent, injudicious (cool word!). Nah, stupid is good. My English teachers are shaking in their boots at my corruption of the English language. But it is fun to mix and match! One thing about the word stupid I am very serious about. I would never call a child stupid nor would I ever use it maliciously. It is one of those words that can hang like an albatross around someone’s neck.

Word should be fun, informative, communicative. They should not be used to wound but they are and they do. And sometimes the damage that is done through words is so lasting that it is unconscionable.

I sat down today to write my post believing I had nothing to say. I guess my mind had other plans. I’m glad I went along for the ride.

10 thoughts on “Control Issues

  1. Dan Antion

    I’m glad you went along for the ride, too. “Always have a plan and a back-up plan” that’s what my father would have said. If you didn’t want to pick a movie, I’d pick one.


  2. Mark Lanesbury

    Yes, you are very right Pam….words have great power…and until we learn to stand in our integrity, we are like a child with a missile launcher.
    But, alas, that is how we learn to find that integrity.
    And no, using the word stupid is the equivalent of judging a fish on its ability to climb a tree. It is a judgement with very little wisdom.
    Great post, thank you for sharing your ride wise lady 🙂


    1. quiall Post author

      I love the ‘like a child with a missile launcher’! It is so true. But like you said, it’s how we learn. It’s always a pleasure to read your words my friend.



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