Monthly Archives: July 2016

If only . . .

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Do you ever do that? Do you ever wonder what would have happened if . . .? I try not to do it. But sometimes . . . The human mind is perhaps our greatest gift and our greatest curse. We have the ability to think, to create wondrous things. But we also have the ability to sabotage all that is good by simply worrying about it.

I have a great life. Unfortunately I am occasionally asked about what I have lost. This is not a topic I usually dwell on. For one simple reason:   it is too depressing. Okay, Let’s play the game. What have I lost? At the top of the list are family members and dear friends. I weep for them but they will always live in my heart and in my memories. We have all lost those we love.

What else have I lost? I no longer have the ability to stand or walk. That sounds like such a big thing and some days it is. But I get around from the seat of my wheelchair just fine. I was watching something on the news the other day and I saw people canoeing. I was once very good at that. Made me think nostalgically of the trips I’ve taken. I’ve been rock climbing, canoeing in northern Ontario, sailing, horseback riding, swimming. sports, travelling and more. The list is extensive. I always maintained that I was here for a good time not long time but it would be nice it was a good, long time!

Well, good is what you make it! I may not ever be able to do some of the things I have done in the past but I have my memories and they’re great! I have pictures of the places I have been and I can look back and relive those times. I can. But I don’t spend my time in the past. I loved it then. But now is the time for me. I want to enjoy my life now and I will work bloody hard to see that I do!

I never want to forget my past, good and bad. Because that is what made me, me.   All the experiences I have had, all the people I have met, all of it went towards making me the person I am today. And I like who I am. Do I wish that things had progressed differently? Sure. But they didn’t and this is my life and I will cherish it with every breath I breathe, cuz this is all I got and it ain’t bad!

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Unrequited Love

 

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I see her from a far

And I love her.

I watch her sleep

And I want to

Nestle near.

Her lips part,

Warm sweet breath.

I gently touch her hand

And she dismisses me

With a flick of her wrist.

I weep in silence.

My eyes follow her,

I try to be near.

The wind blows cold

To keep us apart.

I strive to touch

Her glistening skin.

I cherish my love.

Our worlds

Are so different,

So alien.

Sigh.

There can be

No future

Between a woman

And a fly.

Urban Wildlife

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I was born in a small city. I have spent my entire life as an urban girl. But my heart has always been rural. I don’t know if I could’ve hacked it as a Farmer but part of me would like to have tried.

I spent many years camping in the wilderness. I have canoed lakes and rivers and hiked to the top of the Rocky Mountains. In that time, in the wilderness, I saw a great many animals. Some were amusing, some were breathtaking and some were a little scary! I lived beside one ocean and visited another. It was amazing the wildlife I was able to experience: whales, sharks, dolphins, porpoises, puffins, eagles and more!

Now I am strictly city bound. It is amazing to me how much wildlife shares my concrete jungle. I live very close to a large lake so there is the abundance of wild fowl.   It is to be expected. There are swans and geese as well as several different kinds of ducks.   I have seen Bitterns and Herons and who could ever forget the ubiquitous Sea Gulls, the world’s garbage collectors!

But in the water you will also find turtles basking on the beaches or a fallen log. Moving a little farther away from the water I have seen rabbits and fox. I was once driving to work very early, before dawn. I had to stop the car and watch as a mother fox and her three kits wandered across what would shortly become a busy road. It was breathtaking. I have seen deer within a stones throw of busy homes. Whenever I’m out and about, there’re always squirrels and chipmunks near at hand. I once had to stop and warn people that there was a squirrel in the tree throwing nuts at passers-by.

I even startled a raccoon one morning! He or she was still asleep at the base of a tree. I stopped when I saw him and all he did was open one eye. I swear he grunted and went back to sleep! He wasn’t the least bit fazed by me!

I have seen coyotes at a distance and bats sleeping in the eaves of my building. Bees and Butterflies regularly visit the gardens outside my building. I once even saw a dead rat! I called Animal Control for that one. I would rather not see a live one. I’m sure they’re here but I’m okay living in ignorance. I have smelled skunk but I haven’t seen one lately.

It pleases me to know that while I can’t visit the wilderness anymore it is still close. We need the simplicity and the complexity that is offered by those who live wild. I will always cherish it!

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