It’s a Sexual Thing

Ha ha ha! That got your attention! Don’t you dare deny it!

I recently read an article about an actor that I particularly admire. He had just received glowing reviews on a play he had completed and a Netflix miniseries that was brilliant but on social media there were an unseemly number of people who could only concentrate on his sexuality. Say what?! He’s an actor. He is charismatic and humble and a bit of a Chameleon. Everything that a good actor should be. I like that he acts. Period. Why are so many people hung up on things that are none of their damn business?

Perhaps they don’t understand what the word ‘personal’ means. It means it’s my business and not yours. Now granted, I understand we live in a scandalous and gossip minded society and anything that they could twist into perceived dirt is considered fair game. So, my question is this:  if I delved into your life and did a deep dive through all your secrets and then plastered it all over Twitter for the world to see, would you be upset? I would be livid. My personal life is my private life: not for general consumption. Actors are exactly the same. Yes, they have a public persona but I’m afraid that’s all I believe the public is entitled to. They all put their pants on one leg at a time, they all have to eat and you know, clean their colons.  Just like you and me.

I once read that an American power couple, both actors, had purchased a cottage in northern Ontario and were absolutely thrilled when people left them alone. I was so proud of that and so sad that it was worth mentioning. But they live in a world where they are basically considered fair targets. What a disturbing world.

I have stated in the past that I live my life from the seat of a wheelchair. But that does not define me.  The fact that I like cheese and jam on toast does not define me. My sexuality, the colour of my hair or the cut of my jib does not define me. My character does define me! What I do in public does define me. That is who I am and it is on that I will be judged. It is exactly the same for a public figure, why can’t people see that?

41 thoughts on “It’s a Sexual Thing

  1. beth

    I cannot even imagine having to live a life like that, every day would feel like a loss of myself – they are still human and deserve to be treated respectfully like everyone else

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  2. Dale

    I so agree with you and Beth. “Fans” and the media have no business delving into actors’ lives like they do. He’ll, Princess Diana would probably still be alive I’d she had just been left alone.
    I don’t understand this fixation with needing to know every little detail about a public person’s life. (Unless, of course, they are harming others. That becomes a different issue.)

    Liked by 2 people

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    1. quiall Post author

      Princess Diana is the perfect example! The evil side of the media hounded her and killed her. That is not anything they can ever make up for. And it still continues.

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply
      1. Dale

        Excellent title, by the way – you do know how to grab your audience 😉

        But yes, Diana’s death is an awful thing. But as long as people buy the magasines and sign into the shows, there will be this invasion…

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Mark Lanesbury

    I think that is why many actors come to Australia Pam, they can just be themselves and not be hounded, hung up, drawn and quartered. To just ‘be’ must be a blessing indeed…mind you, the media just won’t let them 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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      1. Mark Lanesbury

        We put all these people up on a pedestal because they seem to be ‘great’ in some way…then the media, to sell, sell, sell their news, knock them off by the most shocking way possible to suit. Three quarters of it is out and out lies, most of the next quarter is twisted beyond recognition and the bit that’s left wouldn’t sell as hot chips wrapping 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Murphy's Law

    I absolutely agree with you Pam. Celebrities have the right to their privacy in their personal lives. Their public side is up for grabs, but not their personal/private side.

    Why some people give a tinker’s damn is beyond me. Whatever “dirt” you dig up doesn’t change that individuals talents or accomplishments. Years ago, when the media was tripping over its toes reporting that Rock Hudson had HIV and was homosexual, my reaction was sadness that he had HIV. The homosexuality part didn’t phase me. He was still the handsome actor I loved with the great voice. I still enjoy watching all the romantic comedies that he and Doris Day made. Just goes to show what a polished actor he was.

    There is no respectful privacy any more. Just sit in a doctor’s office and listen to the receptionist bellow out into the waiting room: “Mrs, Jones, is your phone # still
    000-555-1234? And are you still at 111 Main St., Anywhere, PLanet Earth? And you’re here for hemorrhoids, correct?”

    Maybe instead of intruding where they don’t belong in other people’s lives, they should spend that time washing their own dirty laundry.

    Needless to say, I agree with Dale. This does not include people who are hurting others….human or animal.
    Ginger

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. quiall Post author

      When people are unethical or immoral to others they step out from their private lives into the public world and deserve punishment.

      Like

      Reply
  5. joylennick

    If only Pamela! It seems too many people like ‘digging the dirt.’ We keep on the bright side of life…The best place to be.Was it Freud who said: “Human beings are far better and far worse than we can imagine?” Hope springs eternal.

    Liked by 1 person

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  6. Melanie B Cee

    Why do people do that paparazzi crap? I’ve often wondered, Maybe they think the glamour or star dust will rub off on them if they know every single thing there is to know and more about their favorite ‘star’. For me personally? That kind of ‘news’ is boring. Actors (actresses), radio personalities, celebrities because of status or wealth, famous folk in general ALL put their clothes on the same way I do, take a crap or a wee periodically, get stupid or do something stupid sometimes, fart, pick their noses (sometimes I bet), have bad days, get tickets for driving badly, and a lot of other mundane crap that happens to everyone. It’s boring. I have a difficult enough time living my own boring life, why would someone else’s be any more fascinating? Perhaps it’s the ultimate escapism? The only stupider thing I’ve heard of are folks who speculate and bestow sexual preferences on INANIMATE objects, including puppets, cartoons and stuffed toys. That, to me, is the stupidest thing of all.

    Liked by 1 person

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  7. rangewriter

    I so agree, Pam. So many important figures have been derailed because the media got and promoted some dirt on them. The first case of this that really made an impact on me was when Colorado governor (I think that’s what he was at the time) Gary Hart was running for president. Someone discovered he’d had an extra-marital affair. His political career was over. A man who had much to offer was booted into ignominiousness. Never mind that beloved President Kennedy had affairs (while in office) and future shame of this country was running around happily grabbing pussies. This is a particularly dangerous precedent to set for political figures because eventually, who will be willing to expose themselves and their families to the indiscriminate magnifying glass of the media (both professional & social)? None of us are perfect.

    Liked by 1 person

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  8. Dan Antion

    Some people seem to think that their interest in a person outweighs that person’s privacy. It’s not just celebrities, either. I’m not famous for anything, but I’ve had people ask some very personal questions and then be insulted when I refuse to answer – like I’m the one being rude! People’s private lives should be just that, private. Where they draw the line is up to them.

    Liked by 1 person

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  9. Widdershins

    I’m afraid that cat has been out of Pandora’s box since ‘social media’ decided that everyone had a ‘right’ to everyone else’s business … not only that, but they have an unalienable right to judge said business by whatever standards they may be hoiking up the flagpole on any given day.
    Grrrrr 😦

    Liked by 1 person

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