When I was a child, I had a temper. Think volcanic eruption level temper. I once broke my bedroom window from outside without touching the glass. I had skills. And it was just using my fist on the casing. Yep, I had a temper. What do you expect? I was a flaming redhead and there were expectations. My older brother is also a redhead. As my mother was a brunette and my father had dark brown hair, my brother’s parentage was actually questioned. What was even funnier was that the local fire hall had a redheaded fire captain. When I came along seven years later it was almost vindicated. My mother’s background is Northern Ireland and Scotland.
I was a passionate child, empathetic and volatile. As I grew older, I learn to temper my passion and my temper. One day as a young adult at university I was in the throes of a raging temper tantrum, when I happened to see my face in a mirror. To this day I remember that look. I was not impressed. I worked hard to harness and deflate that temper. I was tired of being a stereotype. And I succeeded. But I wonder if it was the right thing.
There was an episode on the original Star Trek called The Enemy Within. It is about a transporter accident that splits Captain James T Kirk into two versions of himself: one is malevolent and the other is benevolent. Aggressive and passive. What eventually transpires is that Kirk realizes that the two parts of him are what make him whole. He needs both. And I am starting to believe that rage is like that.
Properly harnessed rage can be used assertively. I no longer blow my stack so to speak. It is more insidious than that. Think of molten lava oozing beneath the surface instead of spewing forcefully from the top of a volcano. Now you don’t have to worry about me screaming, be afraid when I start to whisper.
I have used my harnessed rage when dealing with several major corporations, including government agencies, and I have been victorious. The fact that I was right might’ve been incidental. Hopefully I will never win a battle when I am wrong. I will not step down from conflict when I believe right and wrong is an issue but I will never actively seek it out. I don’t actually enjoy confrontation. But I’m still a redhead at heart . . . so beware . . .
Butterfly Sand 
I certainly won’t mess with you
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Oh, I’m a pussycat… I have not been declawed. Ha ha ha ha!
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Did I mention I loved you Pam? Lots and lots…and lots 😂 🤣
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I always said you were a smart man…
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We have had plenty of moments these days where our rage has been manifest. Good discussion, Pamela.
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Thank you John.
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I think I’d rather you be yelling at me than shaking your head in quiet contemplation. I’ll try not to invoke either state. I’ll give you bonus points for the Star Trek reference. I think they got it right in that episode.
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The writers on that show were brilliant. They saw deeper into that which makes us, us than we did. I could never yell at you Dan. I spend too much time praising you for your photographs.
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I tend to agree. So many episodes of that show and The Twilight Zone are timeless.
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Point taken. Survival notes filed. Sometimes one does have to rage just to get attention especially when dealing with complacency and treachery.
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Judicially used it can be a viable weapon.
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Pam, you are the kindest raging redhead I’ve ever known! 🤗 If it takes rage to right a wrong, then so be it. I believe rage is just another one of our emotions and we should release it only when there is no other choice. That’s easier said than done. But doable. I can certainly relate to this post.
The photo of the cat is perfect! The photo of you is also perfect, showing in your very expressive eye both the devil and the imp in you! Love ❤️ it!
Ginger
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Thankfully, and as you said Ginger, rage we do compare to happiness…and a choice decided. And in becoming that choice is love made. And dear Pam is full of love…and that imps eye…well, its the most loving impish eye I’ve ever seen 😂 🤣
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Ahhh, impish yes Mark, but don’t forget there’s a bit of Irish devil there too! We don’t want Pam going around saying, “ The devil made me do it.” Lol!
Ginger
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Haha, of course not 😂 🤣
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Thanks Ginger! That photograph is actually of my cat Quinn as he is yawning. I was in such a rush to get the photograph that I jostled the camera. I loved what came out of it. I am aware of my temper and I keep it tightly reined in.
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I admire your honesty! Being forewarned is always a good thing, ammunition-wise,,,Ha ha. x
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I will always show my hand before I use it to slap.
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I just recently watched that episode of Star Trek so I love the reference. And I think Kirk and you are correct. We are complex beings and need both (or all) sides of our parts to work in tandem. I definitely would be way more afraid of a quiet anger over a loud one 😉 And maybe it’s a good thing that seeing yourself reflected that one time taught you what you look like when angered. It taught you how to harness it when necessary. Save the blowups for when there are no witnesses 😉
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Like a good cry, a good temper tantrum can be cathartic.
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Absolutely. Like that yelling therapy – just let it all out!
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You don’t tug on Superman’s cape or spit in the wind, you don’t pull the mask over old Lone Ranger and you don’t mess around with Pam!
Thank you to Jim Croce for the assist with this comment!
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Damn! I am in some good company! Thank you so much.
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I love your spark and gumption and suspect that it has carried you across some big life hurdles. My best friend in Boise is also a red-head…well, not any more, but she was born to that complexion and fury. I treat her with great respect. Even worse, is that she has a memory like an elephant. She quotes things I may have spouted off about 20 years ago, forever putting me in my place. I love her gumption and spark, too!
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I think I love your friend! I am no longer a redhead. I’m that particular shade that does not go gray but rather blonde. A rather pretty blonde if I do say so myself. I too have a strange memory. I was just reminding my brother of something recently that happened 30 years ago and he didn’t remember. To me it’s as clear as day. Steel trap I think.
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Oh my, yes, my friend’s hair simply faded to blondish, too. And wait a minute. Her name is Pam! I hadn’t even thought about that strong coincidence!
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Be afraid… Be very afraid…! Ha ha ha ha!
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I was quiet and shy as a child, Pam, but of course, I blame my German heritage for my moments of stubbornness. 😉
Unfortunately, as an adult, my rage at social injustice and bad public behavior has risen. Thankfully, I only yell at the TV or vent with a few close friends who understand what I’ve been feeling. I try to respectfully express my anger, as I did today, in a blog post, but it often never seems enough and I feel less and less like being quiet or shy about the state of humanity today.
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I too was shy as a child, painfully so. Oddly enough MS has taking me out of the shy zone. Now I have no problem standing up for someone, figuratively speaking, but I’m still not comfortable doing it for myself. On my blog I can be my true self, I think.
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