I Did Not Say That!

I am convinced that my Dictation Software is actually a 15-year-old pimply boy wearing socks with Flip-flops and sweatpants sitting in his mother’s basement chewing bubble-gum. I know this because some of his auto corrections on my blog are . . .   Shall we say inappropriate. Which of course means I have to share. As an example: this is what happened when I left a comment on a post at nofacilities.com:  You’re a penis Arnel serve yourself. That’s what auto correct said! No joke. This is what I said:  Your peanuts are now serve yourself? Dan had shared a picture of a bag of peanuts on his back deck. He feeds the squirrels, usually.

Now I am not a prude. I didn’t go ballistic at the word penis. It’s a word. But I do find it hilarious how so many of these auto check changes are sexual in nature. Does that not scream teenage boy? Now when it comes to profanity. . . (I worked for the police for 30 years I am not afraid of profanity.   I actually have quite a litany of vulgar verbiage at my disposal.) Spell check has no trouble spelling expletives perfectly. I get cranky and I get annoyed at auto correct. Because basically, it’s not correct! And it infuriates me when I’m taking great care to enunciate correctly and it prints something that isn’t even a bloody word! Sorry, redhead, temper. I can understand changes with the spelling. I may not like it but I understand it. I am Canadian and the spellcheck is American. There are certain words that we do spell differently, for example: humour and humor.  Oh, my word, spellcheck got that one right! I guess that pimply 15-year-old was listening.  Ha ha ha!

Throughout the ages so many have named their devices. The golf club that’s called Big Bertha, men naming their cars after well, something they probably won’t want to explain. I have never really felt the need. But sometimes I want to have somebody to yell at in my frustration and it really is absolutely no fun at all to yell at a device that has no feeling. So, if I have a teenager hiding in his mom’s basement to be annoyed with, I’m good!



32 thoughts on “I Did Not Say That!

  1. Darlene

    As frustrating as it can be, this was very funny. I am sure the recipient had a good laugh as well. I tend to hit comment before I catch my mistakes. I wonder if this is how wars are started?

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Murphy’s Law

    Pam, this is hysterical! It shouldn’t be because it’s true. I learned the hard way to proofread my comments before I hit the ‘send’ key, There was a time when I unknowingly sent some ripe/weird words through the ether.

    I love that you have a pimply faced teenage boy to blame. Perfect! Thank you for a much needed and appreciated laugh this morning.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. quiall Post author

      I am so pleased you enjoyed it Ginger. Some of the funniest things in life are the ones that you cannot believe are true, but they are.


  3. John W. Howell

    One of our GPS devices has an Australian accent and we named him Rolf after an engaging but rambunctious Australian teen we met years ago. The device behaves much like the teen. Always sincere but sometimes just plain wrong.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. bikerchick57

    The 15 year old boy in me found the incorrect words to be hilarious, much like a fart. That being said, the voice to text on my phone has interpreted my words in very strange ways over the years. I don’t think it has spelled penis yet, but I’m sure it’s waiting for an opportunity.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Jennie

    You have hit the nail on the head, Pam, from autocorrect, to teenagers, to naming devices (sadly, my husband and his car friends have named their cars), to being annoyed.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Dale

    I never did feel the urge to name any thing but I do find it fun those who do. As for the autocorrect… I had actually trained my phone to STOP correcting the f-word to Duck… because I definitely did not mean duck. Then an upgrade happened and it forgot all I had trained it to do. That is rather interesting that it would not correct it to something less, er… funny 😉

    Liked by 1 person


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