People Don’t Change!

35 Replies

I recently heard this statement while I was watching TV and it was said so vehemently that I had to chuckle. Of course we change! I am not the person I was when I was six years old nor I am the person I was when I was 36 years old. Hell, I’m not the same person I was yesterday. People evolve. Hopefully. There are a few Cro-Magnons amongst us. But I digress.

I’ve always believed that people change depending on their situation. There is work mode, friend mode and lover mode. And probably several in between. But we are constantly changing. Education, experience and trauma are just a few of the ways that we can change as people. When my life was changed by an incurable disease, I had to find a way to accept it. I had to change to accommodate all the paraphernalia that went with it. It is that adaptation that has allowed me to continue to be a viable person. Did I change? If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t be here. Change is inevitable and it should also be welcomed.

However, not all change is for the better. But that must also be embraced. We must find a way to live with the negativity or redirect it. These are easy words to say but so difficult to do. When my life was altered, it did not happen overnight. I was able to foresee what could happen. Of course, I did not believe it. They say to be forewarned is to be forearmed. I was. Mostly. I eventually allowed myself to become who I was meant to be under those circumstances. And I like who I became.

As a child I was afraid of everything, convinced I was an idiot. (The jury is still out on that.) I was also insatiably curious and trusting to a fault. I’m sometimes surprised that I made it to puberty. In my teens I developed ways to deal with my insecurities. I joined the drama department and became someone else when I needed to. Invaluable skills. In my 30s and 40s I perfected those skills and I became comfortable in my skin. But that shy child was always lurking in the background. As I have continued to age, I have discovered a person that I really like. She’s smart, she’s funny and she is fiercely loyal. I like her, I respect her and I enjoy her company. It took me a long time to accept who I am but I got there in the end. That wouldn’t have happened without a great deal of change.

 

 

35 thoughts on “People Don’t Change!”

  2. Darlene

    Change is good and we need to grow and change but some basics stay the same. I am not the same person I was at 12 years old but a little part of me still is. You are beautiful in all three pictures. xo

    Liked by 2 people

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  3. Sorryless

    You hit on it right there when you talk about adapting. We are a constant evolution, but we don’t tend to realize it all the time. Adapting is what separates those who complain about their plight from those who do something about it.

    Liked by 2 people

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  4. willowdot21

    Pam what a great post full of self knowledge and wisdom! I am glad that you can embrace and survive with your illness … I am very pleased to have met you all be it on line… I like what I see 💜

    Liked by 2 people

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  6. Murphy’s Law

    I wrote a comment early this morning but I guess WP ate it for breakfast!

    Pam, your inner and outer beauty shows in the photos you so graciously shared, but it also shows through your words.

    Leaning on my dad once again, he told me a long time ago when I was dragging my feet through a bad time….When you’re facing a crisis, you have two ways of handling it. You can cry and moan and groan and people will flock around you to help you, but before long they will fade away because they will tire of you sitting on the pity-pot.

    OR, you can take charge and find humor in the situation and laugh. Those same people will flock around you to help, BUT they will stay the course because you are helping yourself and fun to be with.

    You definitely fall into the second category! This incurable disease presented itself, you had yourself a good cry… a couple of good cries…. you dusted yourself off, put a smile on your face, got in touch with your sense of humor again, and faced your “life now” head on. And nothing has held you back from being optimistic and plodding ahead. Kudos dear friend.

    Change is inevitable for all of us, but you have embraced it graciously and fearlessly. You have learned to adapt and cope with your needs. You are an inspiration to us all. 😘

    I like who you became too!

    Ginger

    Liked by 3 people

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  9. Mark Lanesbury

    Ah dear lady, you have become that love personified, even in a life with so much para…phara…peru…oh, pooey…with lots of bits in it 😂 And the cutie at the end of the row is a stunner, the one with the glasses 😀 A great post dear lady, a heart found is that perfection that sets us free ❤️🙏🏽

    Liked by 1 person

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  11. dweezer19

    Just look at you. 😊Well, Pam I agree and I don’t. I prefer to think that the core of who we are remains while we develop, like a larvae in a cocoon. All that we can be is born with us but it takes time to chip away the marble to reveal our perfection. To me, our growth is like creating the masterpiece we were born to be. You are truly a an artist!

    Liked by 1 person

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  12. Dale

    There is nothing like finding ourselves in a situation not of our doing that pushes us one way or the other. There are those who sit on a corner, holding a coffee tin of pencils to sell because their life is now meaningless (so to speak) and there are others who say no, I need to learn new skills because life has decided that this or that no longer works as it did.
    Your beautiful nature shines through in your words and your beautiful pictures are the punctuation.
    I love who you are.

    Liked by 1 person

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  14. Stephanie Seven

    This is an endearing post, thank you You are not alone in your thoughts, it has taken me a long time to find out who I am and understanding change and where I fit in the world. But I have learnt to love myself and still have a long way to go. You are an inspiration.

    Liked by 1 person

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