Category Archives: Life

I Am Going To Kill . . .

This was originally posted in October 2017. I think it is still relevant today. I hope you enjoy.

Now that sounds like a mighty provocative statement don’t you think?  But what does it mean? Am I going to end someone’s existence? Murder? Or am I going to end the existence of the hamburger on that plate?

Context.  It’s all about context. And quite frankly ‘Kill’ could mean any number of things: ruin something, overpower, block, hurt, make time pass, laugh . . . . the list is pretty extensive. Confused yet?

I speak one language well (well, pretty well) and I will acknowledge it is a rather confusing language.  “Stay where you’re at and I’ll come where you’re to”.  Drive on a parkway and park on a driveway. To anyone to whom English is a second language: Kudos!  Even some of us born to it have issues.

I am finding more and more that it is not how well I speak that is important, it is how well I am understood. And the onus is not on the person to whom I am speaking, rather it is on me. I love words. I have a university degree in English. I often use words that are multiple syllables long and sometimes archaic. To my ear I am speaking appropriately. Unfortunately it is not my ear that I am speaking to. I was in a grocery store the other day and looking for a particular item. I was looking for aubergines. For the life of me I could not remember it’s common name. When I asked I was told that they didn’t sell exotic items. I was looking for eggplants.

I love the fact that I live in a multicultural nation. I love the fact that people from all over the world choose to come to my beautiful country. I believe we are stronger for that. But it also presents difficulties that I’m quite sure 30 years ago we never thought about:  everyday conversations. And then of course you have the generation that speaks in symbols, short forms and acronyms. The flavour of the word is lost when you LOL. The first person that ever used that acronym for me was a dear, dear friend. I thought it meant Lots of Love. You can imagine my chagrin when an acquaintance used it. Context my friends, context.

There is a marvellous scene in an episode of Star Trek the Next Generation where one character holds up a hot cup of tea and asks another how he would explain what she is holding in her hand, to an alien race. For those of you in the know it was counsellor Troy and Capt. Picard. Was she holding hot, liquid, glass, cup of tea, beverage? And if the alien race had no concept of drinking a cup of tea how do you explain it to them? And that is our problem here in present-day Earth. Context.

All over the world things are done differently in different countries. They refer to things by different names. When we come together there’s a great deal of miscommunication. Our job is to keep trying to communicate until we’re all on the same page.  When I write that down it seems like such an easy thing to do. And yet you know as well as I do, easy is harder than it looks. We will never, ever fail as long as we keep trying.  I’ll keep trying and I’ll stop looking for aubergines!

 

 

The image is via the Internet. I still haven’t bought any.

Do you see what I see?

This was originally published in 2018 but I think it’s still relevant today. I’m taking a little break from writing. I hope you enjoy.

“It’s raining!  Everything is wet and miserable.  I can’t enjoy a day that is so dull!”

“It’s raining!  Everything is wet and wonderful.  I can’t help enjoying a day that is so vibrant!”

Ask any police officer at the scene of any crime. Each witness will have a different version. And to each one of them it is the absolute truth. Why? That’s easy:  perception.

There are over 7 billion people on this planet and trust me, that means 7 billion opinions.  But in all honesty the only opinion that actually matters is mine. Or, yours for you. Are you confused yet?

As I’m writing this, the day is slightly overcast and actually quite dull.   I love days like this. The pace is a little slower, I don’t have to worry about the sun being too hot or getting a sunburn.   Those are bonus days for me! I even like a decent rain. To watch the water droplets caress the windows as they slowly meander downwards. It’s like diamonds on a crown. You just can’t cash them in!

How we perceive what is right in front of us is predicated on several things.  Our vision of course is paramount but also the shades we wear over our eyes and I’m not talking about the ones you buy.  They say that people see what they want to see or that they wear rose-coloured glasses.  All this means is that we interpret what we see differently. Someone who has lived far too long in drought conditions will love the sound and sight of a gentle rain. Someone who comes from a rainy country will not.

All our experiences will have an impact on how we perceive things.  I hate some shades of pink so anything that has that shade on it is automatically going to go into my ‘not liking’ category. It may not be logical or even fair but that’s part of my makeup. We all have our idiosyncrasies, our likes and dislikes. And all of those play into how we understand things. I can honestly say it’s a bias that we all have.

People usually judge other people in the first few seconds of meeting them. It‘s almost unconsciously done. But the trick is being able to modify that opinion once more data is forthcoming. If I see someone shouting angrily at another I’m going to immediately form the opinion that they’re not a nice person.  I know nothing of the circumstances or the people involved. It may not be anger, it may be frustration.  The point is, I don’t know.  I formed an opinion without all the facts.  Something that is happening much too often these days.  Hopefully I will get the rest of the data and will then be able to amend my opinion.

It is a wise person who can admit when they are wrong.