Category Archives: Multiple Sclerosis

Lip Service

Now for those of you who know me, this is a warning. I guess basically it’s a warning for everybody. I’m about to have a little rant. Something has recently been brought to my attention again and I wish to vent. You have been warned.

I live my life from the seat of wheelchair. Again, to those of you who follow me you know this. It does not affect the person I am but it can have a great effect on my surroundings. I’m occasionally hampered by steps, by doors and by people. The steps and doors, I just look for another way or sometimes don’t do what I wanted to do. The people, that’s where life gets interesting.

As a child I was painfully shy. I didn’t speak up in class, I wouldn’t look anyone in the eye and I lived my life terrified that someone would speak to me. Obviously, I survived. In High School I joined the drama club by accident and I was given tools to help me deal with my insecurities. I grew to love inhabiting someone else’s psyche. And then this happened.

In my middle 20s I developed multiple sclerosis. As diseases go it really isn’t that awful. I was able to hide it for many years. But eventually it became obvious. The wheelchair is a dead giveaway. With assistance I am still able to continue to have a fulfilling life. Our government is wonderful at mandating that society assist with disabilities. And for the most part they do comply beautifully. But then there are the other ones.

I went to see a movie a little while ago in a very big, well known Cinema. They said they were wheelchair accessible and technically they are. And here is something I don’t think most people understand. You can be technically correct and still be oh so very wrong. My wheelchair accessed the cinema perfectly but the only spot available to park said wheelchair was so close to the screen that I couldn’t take in the whole image without moving my head. There was no one sitting anywhere near me because no one wants to sit that close to the screen.

Think of sitting in front of your TV. Now think of sitting 3 inches from the screen of your TV. Are you comfortable? When I mentioned to the manager that this was a problem and asked if there were there any other places for wheelchairs to sit, I was greeted with a shrug. You know the shrug, that raising of the shoulders to the ears that signifies “I don’t give a rat’s ass”. But because no words are exchanged it can be denied.

I did try to watch it. It was a good movie and I really wanted to see it. I had to wait for it to be on TV where I could actually see the whole screen.

I tried to call the head office (this is a really big organization) and had a hell of a time. No one was terribly interested in what I had to say. It was brought to my attention, quite forcefully, that they had passed all the laws to be fully wheelchair accessible. I asked them if they knew what it meant to be wheelchair friendly. I swear to you, I heard their shoulders go up.

I know that things are significantly better than they used to be for people with disabilities. It will never be perfect. There’ll always be someone that is unsatisfied. I am thankful that I am welcomed in so many places. But sometimes I just want to watch a bloody movie. And in some places that is too much to ask.

There is a movie house I do frequent that goes above and beyond for wheelchairs. It is privately owned by someone who cares.

This is something these big corporations don’t seem to understand: if something benefits me and my wheelchair it also benefits many others. People with canes, walkers, baby carriages. I want to live in a world that is completely inclusive. Perhaps that is only something that is possible when individuals are involved. Corporations spent too much time looking at their bottom line.

Rant completed. Thank you for your attention.

. . .to thine own self be true,

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It’s very hot here today. Too hot for me. Feels like 35C or 91.4F. I made a joke recently to a friend that if this weather was any indication of Hell then I wasn’t going!!! if God doesn’t have a sense of humour then we’re all in really big trouble. To that end I have not written a new post for today. I’m afraid this heat seriously affects my MS and I really have no strength. So I’m reposting something from February 2013. I hope you enjoy it.

“. . .to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.”

Hamlet Act I scene 3

William Shakespeare

Well you must admit that words written more than 400 years ago and still relevant today must be pretty incredible words!

I for one admire William Shakespeare and his works. As he so aptly demonstrates it’s the human condition that we all agonize over. And being yourself is perhaps the hardest lesson we try to teach our children. With the cacophony of advertisements that try to steer us in one direction or another is it any wonder we’re all screwed up?

Who was it that said you can never be too thin or too rich? Well if you’re too thin you die and if you’re too rich, ummmm, I’m thinking. Okay I got it! If you are too rich then you become insulated from the human condition. Okay maybe not. I’m not too thin and I’m not too rich. What I am is too damn tired of Hollywood and its environs telling us how to look, how to act, how to live. They’re trying to mold us into perfect little automatons.

In order to be yourself you often have to disregard the advertisements that tell you what shampoos to use and how your makeup is to be applied, how to dress. If we can be true to ourselves and honour the person we actually are and not the image that society wants us to project then I believe we have a chance. We need to raise children to be forward thinkers and not backward thinking sheep.

I don’t have any children so why am I so concerned about other people’s offspring? Simply put other people’s kids are our future. If I love this world then I should want it to continue. The only way that will happen is if we have people at the forefront who care.

I was raised by parents who loved me. They never taught me to hate. They did teach me to care. And I do care. I care about the atrocities I see happening in other parts of the world. I care about the horrible greed that exists around so many of our politicians. I see hate, I see rage, I see iniquities, I see despair and I see fear. What I also see is love, understanding and compassion.

We can give up or give in and wallow in our own self-pity, or we can look forward with anticipation and with optimism. We need to believe in ourselves and in each other. It only takes one step at a time to keep moving forward.

A re-post!

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I first posted this in March of 2017. It was in answer to Barb Taub’s post which I loved. Check her out at www.barbtaub.com. She makes me laugh. Recently I read another blogger I recently started to follow: www.brianlageose.blog and his post made me remember this post. Ok, ok, the truth . . . the only posts percolating through my brain right now are dark and I wanted lighter! So, sorry or enjoy!

Share your profile picture.

Ok, I got it upright! Technology usually defeats me but I keep plugging away! Crazy?

Who are you named after? I would love to say the first romance novel ever written: “Pamela or Virtue Rewarded” written in 1740 by Samuel Richardson and several members of the Royal Family: Elizabeth and Margaret. I wasn’t. A friend of my Mother’s simply said “How about…?”
Do you like your handwriting? I do so little of it. So,no.

What’s your favourite lunchmeat? Bob.
Longest relationship? Well, me. Sometimes we don’t get along but we’re stuck with each other!

Do you still have your tonsils? Yes. My Mother said no one really knew what they did so she wouldn’t let the doctor remove them unless they were diseased. So, I still have them.
Would you bungee jump? Love to! … Absolutely not! Are you crazy? … I find it helps to be a little . . .
Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No. I have people for that. Hee hee hee
Favourite ice-cream? Pralines and cream.
What’s the first thing you notice about people? Their smile. Some people smile with their entire face and some only with their mouths. I trust the former and not the latter.
Football or baseball? Not the kinds of balls I play with.
What colour pants are you wearing? Black. Boring, but they go with everything! (And for the UK readers: white granny pants! I value comfort and grannies have that down pat! You asked!)
Last thing you ate? My words, in an argument I lost with my self. (Told you I was odd.)
If you were a crayon what colour would you be? In the right boxes there is a particular shade of gold, almost an antique gold. It would make me feel regal without the nonsense that surrounds royalty.
Favourite smell? Wet pine needles on a warm spring day when the snow is melting. (I have strong memories of just such a day!)
Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? JA: My painting partner. We are planning a showing of our paintings. Excited and terrified!
Hair colour? Well . . .born a red head who is now turning blonde (naturally) with white highlights (naturally). I have that particular shade of red that doesn’t go grey. Yep, it’s true!
Eye colour? Green with flecks of hazel. I never said I was normal!
Favourite food to eat? Anything made by a Chef for me.
Scary movies or happy endings? Truth be told I used to like scary movies but they are too frightening now. I like happy endings but they can be so sappy and expected. My favourite endings are the ones I did not expect. Makes me tingle all over!
Last movie you watched? Hahaha ‘Taken’ with Liam Neeson. I can’t count how many times I’ve seen it. Such a ‘hero’ movie with an expected ending but I like watching the bad guys getting beaten up. Ok so I’m a little evil.
Favourite holiday? Right Whale watching off the east coast of Canada in the early 80s with the man who actually found them. They were thought to be extinct.
Beer or wine? Yes please.
Favourite day of the week? Today. Tomorrow is to be anticipated and yesterday is a memory.
Three or (four) favourite bloggers you want to learn more about? This is hard because I am intrigued by the ones I follow. So to any of my readers: I would love to know more if you would like to share!
Added info you didn’t know you wanted. I am 57 years old (59 now), Gemini, I read, write, paint, I have multiple sclerosis, a brother, sister, nephew and a slew of great friends. I live my life from a wheelchair, have assistance getting into and out of bed (I love Canada). I am retired from a local police department after 30 years as a civilian. My favourite colour is brown, I love chai and word puzzles. Too much?

For a friend!

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One of the most wonderful things about blogging is the interaction with people from around the world. I just read a post by a fellow blogger who never gets to see snow. So I thought I would send her a little taste of winter in Canada. You should check out: . madcapdog.wordpress.com

Sorry, couldn’t resist! I’m such a ham!

A Single Cardboard Box

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Eloise sat back in her chair and sighed. This would be her final move. It was a hard one, leaving so much behind. But it was time. She thought about her husband of 61 years, Elliot. He’d been gone for a while now but she was managing. He’d always loved that about her: her ability to adapt.

Hands clasped loosely on her lap, legs demurely crossed at the ankle. She had been taught to be a lady but she also knew when not to be. Something else Elliott loved about her. She smiled to herself. As she raised her head, her eyes caught the single cardboard box resting on the edge of the bed. How is it possible for 92 years to fit inside one single box?

There were so many memories. Dipping her toes into three oceans over her lifetime. That midnight buffet on the cruise ship. The smile became a chuckle as she remembered poor Elliot looking for his shoes in a strange motel after a very long night. He had eventually found them in the refrigerator! They had laughed all the way to Albuquerque. Good memories.

There were camping trips with four active and insatiably curious children. And then the children’s children, there seemed to be so many of them. She remembered the strange noises a sleeping child makes and the wild-eyed wonder when they saw something for the first time. Learning to read, learning to walk, learning to slow down. That was always the hard one. But they did it together. Eloise and Elliot. It had lovely ring to it. What a great partnership they had. And that partnership didn’t die when he did. She slept with a pair of his gloves under her pillow. He was never far from her.

She relaxed a little more into the chair, resting her tired shoulders. And she cast her mind back over her 92 years. She had earned her rest. Her memories of her childhood were all good. She’d had loving parents who had taught her to love the world and to respect what it offered. She had grown up with wonderful pets who had taught her humility and selflessness. She had friends who taught her the art of compromise and acceptance and French kissing. Yes, she had learned how to laugh early. And she laughed often. She had reason.

They had traveled the world together. Elliott was a wonderful traveler. Except for the shoes. When the children had come along they were initiated into that world. First traveling near at home and then farther and farther as they grew older and more capable of appreciating it. And then they too caught the bug. The world was theirs to explore.

As time inexorably moved on so did the children. And then she and Elliot rediscovered the wonders of each other. It was like a second honeymoon and they enjoyed it for many years. Oh, the children came back to visit. In the beginning it was quite often but as their lives became more and more complicated, that too dwindled off. That was to be expected.

Most of the children and grandchildren made it back for Elliot’s funeral. It was good to see them, to get reacquainted. But they had their own lives to get back to and in time Eloise was again alone. That was okay. She had much to occupy her. She had quite a vibrant social life and plenty of friends to keep her company. But there were adjustments. She moved to a condominium and hired a cleaning service. There were even a few male companions who were interested in more than just companionship. They were proper gentlemen when she refused. Her heart still belonged to Elliot. Besides he hadn’t been gone that long. But it was nice to have a man around to escort her to a dance.

The box caught her eye once again. It seem to beckon to her and to mock her. It was her box of treasures, precious memories, tokens worth more than any precious jewel ever could be. A single tear escaped her eye. She felt sad and more than a little proud. She wondered about the next step in her life. What was still to come? She closed her eyes.

*********************************************************************

The door burst open! A tall, young man, strode aggressively into the room.

“Where the hell is the damn thing?”

A few seconds behind him an equally tall woman sashayed into the room somewhat less aggressively.

“They said it was on the end of the bed and you could pick it up at your leisure. I think it’s important. What do you plan on doing with?”

The man became a little less forceful as he spotted the single cardboard box just where he had been told it would be.

“It’s just some old trinkets. What possible value could it have? “

the end

Daily Quip

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I may not be perfect but my friends are and they have excellent taste!

Circumstances of Childhood

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Circumstances of Childhood.

By John W. Howell

Available on Kindle

Shipping on October 1st. Priced at $0.99 for the introduction.

This is a different story for John. It is in the Family Life genre and tells the story of brotherly love, riches to rags, redemption and a little paranormal thrown in. Normally John writes thrillers but this time he has stepped into a different place. This book was written with love for the story and the hope it will be an enjoyable read.

Here is the blurb:

When a former pro football star and broadcaster, now a Wall Street maven is accused of insider trading, will he be able to prove his innocence and expose those who are guilty?

Greg and his boyhood pal dreamed of big success in professional football and then later in business. Greg was the only one to live the dream. Now the founder of an investment fund Greg is faced with a routine audit finding by the SEC. The audit points to irregularities and all the tracks lead to Greg. The justice department hits him with an indictment of 23 counts of fraud, money laundering, and insider trading. His firm goes bust, and Greg is on his own.

His best friend knows he is innocent but has been ordered under penalty of eternal damnation not to help.

If you enjoy stories of inspiration, riches to rags, redemption, brotherly love, and a little of the paranormal, Circumstance of Childhood will keep you riveted.

Here is an excerpt.

I look down at my drink and wonder what will happen tomorrow. My daughter Constance wants to come and visit. She lives in New York, and before all hell broke loose, we didn’t see each other often. I missed her so much, and it seemed as if I had to beg her even to talk on the phone. Now, it’s like she wants to be here every weekend. It’s only an hour’s flight by the shuttle or three by train, so she can come when she wants. I just can’t figure out why she got so clingy. I have my troubles, but it doesn’t have anything to do with her. No use in asking her husband either. Though a nice enough guy, I always wonder if he has someplace important to go when I visit. He never sits still and stays busy on the phone or at the computer. He makes a good living, but it seems a person could take an hour to sit and talk. I’d looked forward to some kind of relationship when he and Constance got married. It’ll never happen with him.

When I take another pull at my drink, I notice the burn feels less. It happens every time. First sip initiation, I call it. It’s like the first puff of a cigarette, hits hard then, after, nothing. I decide to let Constance pretty much have the agenda tomorrow. She and I have not had a chance to talk about anything deep for a while. It could just be that she blames me for her mother running off with that guy with the house on the Hudson. He has a title, and the old gal couldn’t resist, but I think the daughter always felt I should have done something. Her mother’s sleeping with another guy and what the hell can I do about that?

I’ll just go with the flow. If she wants to go out, we will. If she wants to stay in, we can do that too. I better think about getting some food in the house. Of course, we can always order take out. I need to move on to my drink and let this go. Tomorrow will be what it is. I remember the day she was born. I looked down at her in my arms and promised I would do anything for her. I love her more than life itself, and I hope we can somehow get to the root of whatever’s wrong. She sounded strange on the phone this morning, and I feel helpless to do anything about it. I hope she opens up when she gets here.

For some reason, I feel tired. Perhaps I’ll go ahead and finish my drink. Maybe I’ll just go home and forget the burger. First, though, I’ll just shut my eyes for a minute. My hands feel good when I put my head down.

“Hey, Greg,” Jerry says. I barely hear him. “What’s the matter? You taking a nap? Greg?” I can feel him shake me, but I have no interest in waking up. His voice gets further away, and I think he says, “Oh, my God, Sophie, call 911, quick.” Now the room goes silent.

Author Bio.

John began his writing as a full-time occupation after an extensive business career. His specialty is thriller fiction novels, but John also writes poetry and short stories. His first book, My GRL, introduces the exciting adventures of the book’s central character, John J. Cannon. The second Cannon novel, His Revenge, continues the adventure, while the final book in the trilogy, Our Justice, launched in September 2016. The latest Circumstances of Childhood a family life story is available as of October 1st, 2017. All books are available on Amazon in paperback and Kindle editions.

John lives in Port Aransas, Texas with his wife and their spoiled rescue pets.

John’s other books:

My GRL, His Revenge and Our Justice

Available on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/author/johnwhowell