Tag Archives: children

Daily Quip

All children have things they need to learn, they also have things they need to teach.

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Fifty, Fat and Fabulous!

 

fat

First of all I would like to apologize to the people I am about to offend.  You brought this on yourself.  There has been a great deal of uproar recently about a funny little symbol that was supposed to say:  “I’m fat”.  When I saw it I thought it was adorable.  I certainly wasn’t offended.  But then I’m not an idiot.  There is a great deal of talk about how the word fat is used negatively.  Why?  It’s just a word.  Fat.  Fat fat fat fat fat.  See, just a word.

The only reason it has any negative connotation is because of the do-gooders that have made it so.  To all the absurdly skinny women out there who have a problem with my being different than you…  Get over yourself.  I’m not ugly, I am beautiful!  There may be more to my girth than there is to yours but that does not make me any less valuable than you are.  Stop guilting our children into starving themselves!  We all come in different shapes and sizes.  No one is more valuable than the other.  If you are too heavy for your frame take that up with your doctor.  Don’t let some glossy magazine with airbrushed models and unrealistic body shapes influence you.  You are better than that.  I am better than that.

Marilyn Monroe is considered an icon of beauty and yet she was never a size zero.  There is some controversy about how big she really was but they figure at least a size 12.  So these scrawny waifs out there that are saying you shouldn’t be fat are the ones with the problem.  If your size is related to a health issue then by all means take the steps necessary to alleviate the health problem.  But just because your hips are a little thicker than some airbrushed celebrity, don’t worry.  You are far more beautiful than some plasticine model.

Children today should be worrying about whether Johnny likes me or do I want to have long hair or short hair.  Don’t worry about things that are so inconsequential that they are not worth your time or energy to think about.  If you’re fat and healthy that’s better than being skinny and miserable.  Tall, short, fat, thin just be yourself.  Be proud of who you are.  I am.

me 2013

HORACE MEETS A CAT

(This is a continuation from the previous post.)

 

Horace opened his eyes.  Then he yawned, it was a very big yawn.  With an even bigger sigh, Horace shook his tiny, little ears and stamped his great big feet and then he looked around.

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This gentle little creature looked around his new home.  He knew it was his home because his bed was right here, his favourite toy was right here, and it just smelled right. But there was something that wasn’t quite right.  Horace didn’t know what it was but he was going to find out.  And he was going to find out right now. With a mighty heave Horace lifted himself up from his very comfortable bed and started out to explore his new surroundings.

It had been a strange few days Horace thought.  He had had a very nice home for many years with a very nice hu-man and then everything had changed.  The hu-man had gone away and another one, a hu-woman had found him.  That hadn’t been pleasant.  Horace was just trying to say “hello” when the stranger had made a great many very loud noises that hurt his ears and then she had run away. She didn’t return but several other hu-mans did.  They weren’t mean to Horace and they didn’t try to hurt him but the whole situation was very unsettling.  If the truth were told Horace was quite scared.

Now he was back with his own stuff in a new home.  All the smells were the right smells but there was something very different going on here.  So with a shake of his head and a swish of his tail Horace started out on his great adventure.

The very first thing Horace found was a cherry.  Now it was a very nice cherry and it was sitting just where a cherry should be sitting if it was waiting for a rather hungry hippopotamus to find it.  Horace had been raised properly.  He had always been told never to be rude and he figured that it would have been rude if he had refused this very ripe gift so he ate it.

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Well the first part of the adventure had gone very well.  Licking his rather large lips Horace continued on with his exploration. He could see several pieces of furniture but the light was quite low so he figured it was early morning.  Maybe it was so early the hu-man that lived here was still asleep. Horace felt he had learned a great deal about hu-mans because he had lived with one for so long.  He knew that they slept a lot, usually when it was dark but sometimes they put on artificial suns, lots of them, and stayed up after dark. It was quiet too.  Hu-mans seemed to make noise all the time.  It wasn’t usually as loud as the hu-woman had been but you can always tell when a hu-man is around.

Horace continued on with his adventure.  In one room he had a bit of a fright when he came upon another hippo that looked just like him!  After a few minutes of watching the other hippo mirror everything he did, Horace finally figured that was just what it was: a mirror.  He chuckled quietly to himself. “Nice looking hippo.” It was at this point that Horace became aware of an unusual noise.  It was sort of like a prrrrrrrrrrrrr noise.  Kind of soothing, it made Horace feel good to hear it but he didn’t know what made it.

If Horace had looked up, he would have seen two golden eyes staring at him.  Not too far from the golden eyes was a tail slowly twitching back-and-forth.  The sound he had heard was coming from this creature.  Very quietly a little meow was heard.  Now Horace did look up.

What he saw was a cat.  Horace had never seen a cat before. When someone is faced with something that strikes terror into their heart one of two things can happen.  First of all they can run.  But if they run they will never know what they are running from.  Second of all they can stand their ground and find out what is so scary.  He was scared but Horace stood his ground.

Now it is a fact that cats are not by nature evil creatures.  Rather they are curious creatures.  And that is exactly what this cat was.  She was curious about Horace.  Let’s look at this from her perspective:  Ally, for that was the name of the cat, had never seen a hippo before.  This strange little creature was walking around her house, looking in her mirror and generally breathing her air.   Of course he didn’t look scary, he looked, well, curious.    So she looked and she purred and she twitched her little tail.

Horace spoke first.  “Hello, my name is Horace.” With bated breath he waited to see what the cat had to say.  “Hello, my name is Ally.  Would you like to play with me?”

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It was at that moment that Horace knew he had come home.  This was not the old place, but it was his home.

 

Join Horace on his next adventure:  THE CASE OF THE MISSING SHRUB.

Creatively speaking

May June 2013 006

Many years ago my mother and I were having an argument.  It wasn’t a negative argument, more a difference of opinion.  But as I recall it was quite vehement.  You see my mother had just made a comment that I strenuously disagreed with.  She maintained that while her children were creative, she was not.  My mother believed that she was just a wife and mother.  Just!  JUST!

I was raised by loving parents.  They taught me to appreciate the world and to be curious about everything.  Like most children I was born naked and ignorant.  If anyone out there doubts the importance and value of a loving mother and father, then I respectfully say you’re nuts!

Not everyone has the great fortune to be raised in idyllic circumstances.  Some people have the wherewithal to raise themselves to be good people.  I basically didn’t have a choice.  Being surrounded by good people there was no other way than to follow their lead.  It was the path of least resistance.

I had a mother that every Halloween made my costume.  That’s not creative?  One year I was a black cat with a long black tail and whiskers.  One year I was an alien with a javex bottle helmet painted gold and a corrugated cardboard belt with matchbox compartments also painted gold.  With that one she apologized for not being able to make my eyebrows look like Spock from Star Trek.

My mother fed us wonderful meals every day.  She found ways to make us eat things we did not like, often without us realizing it.  My mother used her charm, her wit and yes her force of will to raise three children to be responsible and caring adults.  You think that’s not creative?

I believe that one of the most important jobs in the world is that of mother.  Well, a good mother.  A good father is also important especially if he has to take over the role of mother.  I don’t have any children so I can only speak from the perspective of one that was raised by good parents.  But the way I figure it the time and effort it takes to raise children to adulthood is mind-boggling!  To the mothers and fathers out there, kudos to you!  The world is a better place because of the job you did raising your children.  Now if that isn’t power I don’t know what is!

Let me leave you with a few pieces of advice my mother gave me over the years:

–        always wear clean underwear, you never know who may be looking

–        smile at people who are angry at you, it messes with their heads

–        a good person does what’s right, even when no one is looking

–        wallowing in self-pity is fine, for 15 minutes

–        a woman should be good in two rooms in the house, and one of them is the kitchen

God love mothers!