We can control time by dividing it into manageable segments. Seconds, minutes, hours, days. We can control people the same way.
They say ‘time heals all wounds’. Well I’m here to tell you it ain’t so! Time gives you a different perspective on events, a means to distance you from the pain. Is it a cure for the pain? No. Time is a concept that was created by individuals to label and control the changes that happen throughout the course of their lives. So, time is a means of control. Curious. Does that mean that giving yourself ‘time’ to get used to an idea is actually giving you control over that idea? Well, yes.
One of the most difficult issues people with disabilities have to contend with is the loss of control. We cannot control our bladder, our legs, perhaps our lives. For anyone that is used to working and living independently that is a horrific situation. But if ‘time’ is really ‘control’ then we can take back what we lost: control. It just takes time. Let me explain. I can no longer walk. My legs do not work. Over time I have come to accept that. This, however, does not mean that I can no longer do what I once accomplished by walking. Getting from one place to another does not have to be done on the soles of your feet. It can be accomplished on the tires of a wheelchair. Because I can no longer stand I cannot reach an item on my kitchen shelves. I employ the use of a ‘reacher’ which increases my reach my several feet. I once again have control back.
What we have to accept is that things have changed. Now, we can give up any control we have, go into an institution and let someone else decide the course of our lives or take back control. Yes it will take time. But nothing of any real importance was ever easy. Take the time, take control.
There is no way one can ever be sure just how much time we have to do the things we want. We could cross the street tomorrow and never make it or we might live to be a hundred years old. What is important is how we use the time we have right now. The only minute we can be absolutely sure of is the minute we are experiencing, well, right this minute.
Time is a concept that was invented by people to try and control their lives. We focus on the issues of time as if it controls us and in a way it does. People live their lives under the watchful eye of the clock. We have to be somewhere by a certain time so we worry about being late. Time does allow us to focus and organize our lives and that is not all bad but there does come a ‘time’ when it is necessary to just turn off the clock. Try going a day without wearing a watch or looking at the clock. Don’t do this on the day of a doctor’s appointment, they won’t see the value. Do you still find that you are trying to ‘time’ everything? Do you guess at the time? Some people need the security of knowing just what time it is and this is not a failing. It probably means that they are rarely late to anything.
Every now and then it is comforting to retire from convention. Turn off the mechanical devices (after the tea is made) and listen. Listen to the sound of your heart or the cries of the seagulls. Take a moment to relish in the absence of technology, ignore the clock and relax. Today will never, ever come again and it would be a shame to miss it. Is the sun bright and warm in the sky or is the rain beating a quiet patter against the window? Is the wind gently swaying the trees as if in a gentle dance? Do you notice these things when you are preoccupied by the passing of time? We have the power to control time, or at least the perception of time. Do not let the clock run your life, it is a tool only. Enjoy the moments and let the minutes take care of themselves.