Tag Archives: ducks

Would you like your ducts cleaned?

man on edge 2


I am a bad, bad woman.  I should feel bad but I’m afraid I was having way too much fun.  Yup, I am a bad woman.  Let me explain.  The other night a friend and I were chatting when the phone rang.  I interrupted our conversation to answer it.  What I heard was an individual with a very thick accent asking if I would like my ducts cleaned.

For those you who are unaware, this is a scam.  I don’t know where the calls are being made from but I guarantee you it isn’t local.  A bad connection and a thick accent are usually a dead giveaway.  I receive these phone calls about once every 10 – 14 days.  I’ve tried explaining that I am not interested in the service.  I have been polite.  But not this time.  I responded to the individual on the phone with a bit of a squeal and said that I would love to have my ducks cleaned.  He didn’t catch the slight change.

Now you have to understand that I have a wicked sense of humor.  I have tried being polite in the past and now I thought it was my turn to have a little fun.  My friend in the room was egging me on.  The individual on the phone hearing my enthusiasm became quite excited and asked how many ducts I thought I had.  I hesitated for a moment and then stated that I was pretty sure I had in the range of about 200 ducks.  I also queried the individual as to whether or not they could also clean geese.

At this point I thought the kid on the phone would have figure out what I was saying and hang up on me.  I guess language was more of a barrier than I thought.  He went on to ask how many rooms I had on my second floor.  I said four.  And then proceeded to ask why that mattered.  I said that the geese and the ducks were kept in the barn.  I then asked if they had a special deal for cleaning swans.

My new telephone companion started to figure out there was something a little fishy.  I think he was trying to salvage the call when he explained that I could have my ducts cleaned for $102.  I said that was extremely fair and I would love for him to come out and cleaned my fowl.  Now we had been on the phone for about 3 ½ minutes.  Where ever he was calling from he was picking up the tab.  Poor fellow never said a word he just hung up the phone.  And I didn’t stop laughing for 20 minutes!

I don’t know why these individuals do this.  They must make money somewhere but I don’t get it.  I must say I had a ball with this poor kid on the phone.  Maybe next time I’ll ask him if he cleans cows.