Tag Archives: fashion

A Fashion Statement

 

I am not now nor have I ever been considered a fashionista. No one has ever swooned at the sight of my shoes. Neither has anyone drunkenly staggered to the curb and vomited at the sight of my scarf. I am not fashion forward nor am I fashion savvy. I wear what is comfortable and what I consider to be inoffensive. I am pretty sure that Picasso would be bored at my attire. And Pavarotti would never sing arias at my fashionable wit. I am absolutely fine with that!

I ensure that the appropriate bits are suitably clothed and that there is nothing showing that would cause eye spasms if noticed out of context. Shoes, socks, shirts and slacks. That’s not too difficult a mantra to work around. I do admire people who can be tastefully put together. My concern is that I am not too distastefully put together that I cause small children to scream at the sight. But I do have a question . . .

What were they thinking? Over the years fashion has been created and directed by a small and questionably sane, syndicate of designers. There is a conspiracy with marketing gurus and the clothing associations. Billions are at play. Successes have been brilliant and failures have been hilarious. I beg forgiveness if I offend anyone with my list of Fashion Foibles. . . .

Socks with sandals. Seriously do I need to say anything else? If your toes are cold, wear shoes !

Your underwear is showing! If you think your underwear is so mind blowing that everyone needs to see it, wear it on top your pants. I didn’t think so. The statement you are actually making is: “I’m an idiot”.

Your belly is showing! There truly are individuals who when wearing these crop tops can be seen as adorable, they’re 12.

Fanny packs. I thought these were great when they were popular. I still think they are practical. Now do you understand why I’m not considered fashionable?

The Man Bun. As a woman perhaps I don’t have the right to judge this supposedly new fashion statement by men. But gentleman did you know that the ‘man bun’ has been around since at least the 10th century? The samurai sported it a very long time ago and I will question whether or not you could live up to their standards. Call me mean but I don’t like the man bun.

I like comfort and convenience in my clothing. I hate the fact that so many women, especially young ones, are getting their fashion ideas rammed down their throats by people who are out to make a buck. I like women in dresses with comfortable shoes. I like men in suits and ties. I like jeans and loafers with billowing shirts and funky scarfs. My heart goes out to those who are killing themselves to be fashionable. And my condemnation goes out to those who pray on the aforementioned.

I may not be considered fashionable but I am considered tidy and that’s a better trade-off in my book!