Tag Archives: fathers

Memories fade

 

mom and dad

When I was a child the world was my oyster and I was always shucking for pearls.  I had a wonderful childhood.  Unfortunately I have noticed that some of my memories are starting to fade.  That is a very sad thing.  But you have to understand not everything I did as a child or youth deserves to be remembered.  Trust me there are quite a few things I would prefer to forget.  I would if I could but I can’t so I won’t.

We are approaching that time of year when we celebrate our parents. (Something we should do every day kids!)  I find that I’m forgetting things.  I forget the way it felt when my father used to pick me up when I fell asleep in the car.  I was a small child and I would inevitably snooze in the back seat.  I would be half awake when he picked me up and I can remember nuzzling against his chin.  He smelled so safe, so warm.  But I can’t remember how his arms felt.  It was more than 50 years ago and we are not computers.  Some things will fade.

As I was growing up my mother always made me my favourite meal on my birthday.  It was seafood crepes with a pecan pie for dessert.  I’ve forgotten what the crepes tasted like.  I’ve had other crepes since but I haven’t had hers in probably 25 or 30 years.  Probably haven’t thought about them in that amount of time either.

But on Mother’s Day and Father’s Day I remember.  I remember them.  And I miss them.  We all have had people in our lives that we miss when they are gone but I believe that my mother is sitting on my shoulder with a grin on her face saying:  “tsk tsk tsk do you really want that second cookie?”  I can see my father out of the corner of my eye:  hands in his pockets, wearing a knit vest, smiling and shaking his head “damned kids”.  We were loved.  I have not stopped loving my parents since I lost them.  And I haven’t really lost them as they are a part of me.  They made me, they helped me become the person I am today.  Thanks Mom, thanks Dad.  I love you.

mom&dad

Creatively speaking

May June 2013 006

Many years ago my mother and I were having an argument.  It wasn’t a negative argument, more a difference of opinion.  But as I recall it was quite vehement.  You see my mother had just made a comment that I strenuously disagreed with.  She maintained that while her children were creative, she was not.  My mother believed that she was just a wife and mother.  Just!  JUST!

I was raised by loving parents.  They taught me to appreciate the world and to be curious about everything.  Like most children I was born naked and ignorant.  If anyone out there doubts the importance and value of a loving mother and father, then I respectfully say you’re nuts!

Not everyone has the great fortune to be raised in idyllic circumstances.  Some people have the wherewithal to raise themselves to be good people.  I basically didn’t have a choice.  Being surrounded by good people there was no other way than to follow their lead.  It was the path of least resistance.

I had a mother that every Halloween made my costume.  That’s not creative?  One year I was a black cat with a long black tail and whiskers.  One year I was an alien with a javex bottle helmet painted gold and a corrugated cardboard belt with matchbox compartments also painted gold.  With that one she apologized for not being able to make my eyebrows look like Spock from Star Trek.

My mother fed us wonderful meals every day.  She found ways to make us eat things we did not like, often without us realizing it.  My mother used her charm, her wit and yes her force of will to raise three children to be responsible and caring adults.  You think that’s not creative?

I believe that one of the most important jobs in the world is that of mother.  Well, a good mother.  A good father is also important especially if he has to take over the role of mother.  I don’t have any children so I can only speak from the perspective of one that was raised by good parents.  But the way I figure it the time and effort it takes to raise children to adulthood is mind-boggling!  To the mothers and fathers out there, kudos to you!  The world is a better place because of the job you did raising your children.  Now if that isn’t power I don’t know what is!

Let me leave you with a few pieces of advice my mother gave me over the years:

–        always wear clean underwear, you never know who may be looking

–        smile at people who are angry at you, it messes with their heads

–        a good person does what’s right, even when no one is looking

–        wallowing in self-pity is fine, for 15 minutes

–        a woman should be good in two rooms in the house, and one of them is the kitchen

God love mothers!