Tag Archives: fear of rejection

To fear or not to fear, that is the question ….

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 It is quite natural to have a certain amount of fear in your life.  Actually it is quite beneficial, even necessary.  Fear can keep us from doing really stupid things, like stepping over a cliff edge or driving our car into a ravine.  We know what will happen if we do and that is frightening.  There is a negative side to fear.  It can cripple us from living our lives as fully as we should.  How many people have not spoken to someone that they are attracted to because of fear of rejection?  How many people are absolutely paralyzed by the fear of speaking in public?  How many people are terrified to show their work be it paintings or poetry because they are afraid others will find it less than stellar?

 For those of us who are dealing with an incurable disease there is another kind of fear, the fear of the unknown.   You know what the books say your disease can do, and it can do it to you.  Yes that is frightening.  Yes that kind of fear can paralyze a person.  And yes there is a way around it.  I believe that the mind is an incredible tool at our disposal.  Well, use that tool.  Tell yourself a hundred times a day “I feel better and better in every way!”. You can convince yourself if you believe.  Can you cure your disease?  Probably not, but stranger things have happened.  What will happen is that you will start out by forcibly holding your head up and talking yourself into believing and one day you will find that you do truly believe.  For truly blessed are those who can believe.  Proof is a wondrous thing but proof is often open to interpretation.

 You are probably afraid you will have to give up work. That might happen.  You are probably afraid you will end up in a wheelchair.  That could happen.  You are probably afraid . . . . well it doesn’t matter. You are the only one who knows what frightens you the most.  It could happen. It might happen. These are possibilities only, not probabilities.  Remember that.  As for certainties . . . it is certain you will need to sleep, and to eat, and  to . . . well, you get the picture.  Why worry about things you have little control over and that may never happen.  You know what makes you feel better and what makes you feel worse.  You have some control, use it.   Don’t spend the next fifty years moaning about ‘what if’s and ‘could have’s.  You have a life now, enjoy it.

 Face your fears.  Easier said than done but I challenge you to take your fear out for a run.  If you are afraid to speak to that special someone, then write yourself a little speech, memorize it and then stand in front of this person that frightens you and say the words.  If you are afraid to stand up in public then find someplace where you can do just that, speak.  There is nothing more liberating than conquering a fear.  Be well.  Be happy.  Be fearless!