Some days I feel like a round peg living in a square world.
Some days I feel like a round peg living in a square world.
The dishwasher whispered
To the toaster one day
There’s crumbs in my workings
In an irritating way
The toaster responded
With a mouth full of bread
The faults not my own
It’s the humans I said
The kettle then screamed
My ass it’s a glow!
Stop bickering this minute
My lid’s gonna blow!
The oven just smiled
A long gentle burn
He knew what was coming
He’d just wait his turn
Then a cold laden breeze
Filled the room with despair
With the fridge door ajar
They knew who was there
“Breakfast is ready”
Came the bone chilling call
And the hoards then descended
On the appliances cabal
Two young men stared at each other, mouths open. The erudite individuals in question were loitering outside the home of an elderly man who had recently died. Perhaps they were remembering the life so recently passed. Or perhaps . . .
“Cool! What the fu. ., .sh . Aw man, I promised my girlfriend I’d stop swearing!”
“Wait, Boondog, you got a girlfriend? When? You didn’t have none yesterday!”
“Yeah, man. We’re in looove. She just ain’t met me yet.”
The two erupted in gales of laughter.
Boondog was actually Alfonse. He was a high school drop out who fervently believed that he would one day be a multi millionaire. He just needed the rest of the world to recognize his genius.
His companion was Edgeley. No one knew his real name, probably not even Edgeley himself. He didn’t seem to live anywhere in particular. He just kept showing up.
The two young men gravitated to this spot most days. Each day they would spend time smoking a particular illegal substance. This was the perfect spot. They were hidden from the road but were still quite close to the house. Ah, yes, the house. It had been built in the early 1900’s. It was three stories tall and had a veranda that encircled the main floor. It was an imposing abode that had seen better days. More than a hundred years had wandered through the rooms of that house. What had been said and done on those solid wood floors?
Our intrepid adventurers were deep in a metaphysical discussion.
“This Burrito is the bomb!’
“Hey, you got burritos? I like Mexican food!”
“No, man, the Ganga is good!”
“Dope, weed, pot, grass! Boondog, don’t you know noth’n?
For the next few moments they said nothing. The smoke whirled above the heads as they inhaled the noxious weed. Oblivious to the medical consequences of the drug on their brains, they breathed in even deeper.
Time seemed to stop.
Edgeley was the first to speak.
“Do you think his cats ate him?”
“Did he have cats?” asked Boondog with something akin to excitement on his face.
Silence. Time barely seemed to pass.
“They said he was rich. I bet he’s got cash stashed all over.”
Our two geniuses continued to stare at the once opulent house. After some time they both managed to stand (after a few mishaps). Then came the giggles. Two grown men trying to keep each other from falling and fumbling up the decrepit steps might have been funny to watch but no one saw them enter the house. Almost no one.
As Boondog reached for the front door knob, the door opened. He didn’t seem to notice.
“Hello . . “ He shouted, as if he had just returned from a long day at work.
Edgeley slapped the back of his head. “Shhh! You wanna wake the dead?”
“Is he here?” Boondog’s panic was very apparent.
“Nah, man. I’m just messing with ya.”
The front door opened into a huge foyer with an even larger room off to one side. They headed there. The two men started to wander around the room. Edgeley immediately started to open drawers in the cabinets, methodically working his way from one side of the room to the other. Boondog couldn’t take his eyes off a painting of an old woman. There was a name at the bottom, his lips moved as he read what was there: Daniela Winslow, died 1893.
As he stepped back, he looked directly into the eyes of Daniela Winslow . . . . . only to see Daniela looking back. Boondog gasped!
The front door closed, violently, the bolts thrown. The shutters on the windows slammed shut. Within seconds the air became cold, too cold. Edgeley stopped what he was doing and looked up. A mist started to rise from the floorboards. It seemed to caress Boondog, who was frozen in place. It then moved on. Gently, oh so gently it touched the furniture, stroking the wood of the cabinets.
Edgeley looked at Boondog. All the effects at the previously smoked marijuana were gone. Neither man was at all unaware of their predicament. Any thoughts of looking for stray cash had gone. All they wanted now was to leave, quickly.
Almost as if it was choreographed, both moved as one towards the front door. Grasping the handle Boondog tried desperately to open it. The door wouldn’t budge.
“Hello boys. . . “
The voice was low, soft and ominous. They couldn’t tell if it was a man’s voice or a woman’s. Or even where it had come from. The two boys turned back from the door, fear emanating from every pore. Boondog started towards the steps to the second floor. He just wanted to get away from the voice. Before he could reach them, the mist descended and formed a barrier. There was no going upstairs. He returned to stand beside his friend. This couldn’t be happening!
Edgeley hadn’t moved. Sweat started to soak through his clothes. The sweat of fear has an acrid, pungent smell, it smelled of death.
A fireplace they hadn’t noticed before, burst into flame. The cackling sound of the flames seemed to break the spell and they moved.
They huddled next to the fireplace as if for comfort. There was no warmth from the flames. They seem to mock them, rising and dancing as if to music. There was no music, then, no sounds. It became oppressive, the silence. The men, so brave and bold mere minutes ago, reverted to their childhood fears. They were terrified. And then . . . she screamed.
“I am hungry!”
Edgley started to whimper. “I’m sorry . . . I’m so sorry . . .
Alfonse started to mutter unintelligibly. He raised his head. His eyes had changed. He grew larger. Then he smiled. His voice changed. “No one will miss you Edgley. And we will all feed!”
Dogs these days, always checking their p-mails!
I am convinced some people really do live in an alternate reality.
My Mother never left me
Those many years ago
With my Father by her side
She’s watching Heaven grow.
I know she thinks St Peter
Should polish up his act
Those politicians he let in
Really should go back.
Angel’s wings are handed out
To the many and the few
But really those deserving
Don’t get the all they’re due.
Heaven is a place
Of peace and gentle love
There my parents rest you see
To give blessings from above.
Time will come I know it
When Mom will run the show
God has done a bang up job
But Mother’s make it grow!
Money is not the root of all evil, people are.
Some people should not play in the gene pool.
People don’t love you in spite of your flaws, they love you because of your flaws. Your flaws are what make you, you. You’re wonderful just as you are.
Some days I feel like I am fast approaching my ‘best before’ date!
An onion has many layers. So have I!
Echoes of Life, Love and Laughter
Peace. Tranquility. Insanity.
Writing & Coffee. Especially coffee.
Penang Island Local Travel Guide
Scribbles on Cocktail Napkins
Finding the humor in everyday life.
Musings of an ex-pat in France.
This & That, Including What Ails!
True stories with a twist!
If Existence is a dream, let us dream perfection....
Life in progress
This & That Including What Ails
Underwater Photo Blog by Suzy Walker-Toye
Observations of the illusion through the eyes of wonder...
Living life with a chronic illness is definitely not easy. But I do my best to push through all the barriers this illness puts in front of me! In my heart and mind, I believe maintaining a positive outlook on all situations in life will carry us through to much better times! I hope you find the information that I provide both helpful and inspirational!
Chronicling my misadventures one crappy doodle at a time.
Because everyone wonders where they came from
Surviving kids, marriage and life with only the suggestion of sanity
Welcome to the world of cats!
Make Thinking Your Business
Positive growth and change in our world
A guide to finding your creative inspiration in the face of rejection
Join me as I edit my first novel and aim for publication
Weird and Random Thoughts
Exploring the world in which I live, inside and out.
I have Malignant Melanoma, my son had Testicular Cancer
Navigating this incarnation
Simon's & Judy's Photography
Old fashioned and old school. I would not have it any other way.
Retired from the University of Texas and too old to play soccer anymore. Now, in the twilight of his years, time is spent writing in this blog, hiking and exploring Texas Parks, photography, working out, gardening and tending to the five ponds he built .
She is fearless in her revelations
Rants, humor, sarcasm, and a haiku-like substance? It's hard to know what's going to come out of our minds next.
Just lose yourself this little while, in poetry, books, art and smile! :)
A place to celebrate those born in 1951
T.I.S.H. WORLD NEWS
Be it always Less, So It can be More.
New life after retirement at 8,300 feet
Writing it down
What Comes Next?
Focus Hocus Pocus
Random thoughts, life lessons, hopes and dreams
Life with Six Feet and Other Perspectives.
eclectic, like me
7 is the new 30