Tag Archives: humour

Last Call

Weird is a word,

In a wacky old way.

Whimsy is fun,

But not every day.

 

Laugh when it tickles,

And let yourself be.

Take flight with your fancy,

There’s so much to see.

 

No planes and no boats,

No trains hurtling far.

The wings of your mind,

Go beyond with no car.

 

I want to go crazy,

Be the person I am.

I’ll see it and do it,

Into living I’ll cram.

 

Never be sorry,

For living it all.

Cuz one day it comes,

The final last call.

 

86,400 (2.0)

I originally wrote this nine years ago but my focus has changed in the ensuing time and I have, I think, improved it. I hope you enjoy.

 

I was once sent an e-mail that likened the 86,400 seconds in a 24-hour day to money. It went on to ask if you were given that amount of money every morning knowing that you would lose any you did not spend, would you endeavour to spend every cent.  Of course you would!  It attempts to remind us that we need to use every second of every day to its fullest.  That is so true, except . . . . I spend approximately 5 hours out of every 24 sleeping or 18,000 seconds (or $18.000).  Does that mean I have squandered that time?  No, I am recharging.

How much time do you spend preparing the food that fuels your body? Or any of the other activities that are vital in the running of said body. One works to afford the food to fuel the body as well as the clothes we wear and the roof over our head. We must also clean and exercise to maintain and… And then there are the activities for the mind which is part of the package. We need to stimulate, educate and entertain … I think it is a very costly activity to maintain one’s self. And I’m not talking about the frivolous, decorative activities. Just to simply maintain. When we get into the area of improvement. There is schooling and physical activities … Yep, there is a lot to do and none of it is squandering. I wonder how much I just spent writing this post. I probably shouldn’t add it up.

Now this brings up another problem.  How you speak and how you are understood.  I could say that I am not responsible for what you hear, only for what I say. But that is not quite accurate. I am a big believer that it is not how well you speak that is important but how well you are understood.  One may speak correctly and still be misunderstood.  Why?  The person or persons you are speaking to may not speak exactly the same way you do.  Their comprehension may be at a different place than yours.  For example – the word rug – it has different meanings depending on where you live.  In England a rug is a blanket. In Canada a rug is a carpet.  My point is that if you are going to chastise someone for squandering time then make sure it is the appropriate amount.  We all need some down time. And I am worth it!

 

In For A Penny

A shiny new penny,

Mint fresh from the bank.

Crossing the palms,

Of a Clint or a Hank.

 

The journey it’s had,

It’s perils unknown.

To a fountain perhaps,

One day it was thrown.

 

Lost was the penny,

Alone in the dirt.

Tossed from the pocket,

Of a young woman’s skirt.

 

Perhaps kept in a jar,

For decades untold.

The journey’s not over,

There’s more to unfold.

 

A child’s favourite coin,

Was once in a box.

Hidden from view,

Just under the socks.

 

An actor once flipped,

That polished up prop.

For his role in a movie,

As a villain or cop.

 

Our penny has journeyed,

In distance and time.

A life in the sunshine,

And others in grime.

 

The dimes and the quarters,

They all have a place.

But the penny’s held dear,

In a long state of grace.

 

Some words are remembered,

Like our copper sublime.

In vernacular speech,

It surely does shine.

 

One for your thoughts,

Another to save.

Songs to be sung,

Our penny so brave.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Paper clips

Today is overcast and cold. We had a snow storm yesterday and there is a significant amount of snow on the ground. I live in a downtown area so it isn’t a pretty, white, pristine snow, it’s the ‘cars just drove over me and spewed exhaust that made me brown’ snow. The last few weeks have been… unsettling. It’s cold but not really cold, it’s not exactly sunny or cloudy, it just seems to be in between everything.  meh.  It’s January and it’s not acting like it. It has made me… unsettled. So, I thought that I would write a post for today that was uplifting and inspiring and… I got nothin’. Plan B: I wondered what the most innocuous thing was that I could write about and I came up with the paper clip. Yep. The ubiquitous and yet rarely noticed device that has been used for hundreds of years to clip paper together. The paper clip.

According to Wikipedia:

The most common type of wire paper clip still in use, the Gem paper clip, was never patented, but it was most likely in production in Britain in the early 1870s by “The Gem Manufacturing Company”,

Nowadays the shape has changed in some. Gotten bigger, gotten smaller. Sometimes they are made of plastic. But I would bet that for the most part there are trillions of small bent wire clips in every office. Years ago, we talked about going paperless in our society but I don’t believe that’s actually a possibility and therefore we will always need to be able to clip paper together. Because we like control. And then I started to wonder about how much like life is that lowly little paper clip.

In order to become useful, little pieces of wire are bent into shapes that function. Aren’t we? We are born into a world knowing nothing and we are shaped by our education and later by our experiences into people that are functional and can contribute to society. Just like that paper clip. There are also those who are perhaps overworked and therefore become useless. Have you ever unbent a paper clip? Of course, then it is great for sticking in teeny tiny holes in our computers to make things reset. So, not all bad. How many times have you taken a handful of paper clips and clipped them together to make a chain or a strange creature. It’s amazing what we can do when we’re bored.

Poo Soup   

I am sure I misheard,

The words that you said.

You asked if I’d rather,

Consider you dead?

 

I know that’s not right,

But it’s now in my head.

Such silly old me,

You asked about bread!

 

There’s soup on the menu,

I like that, I do.

What’s on today?

You say that it’s poo?

 

Creamed, you continue,

It’s special you see.

I know this is wrong,

But, with a chaser of pee?

 

This restaurant is new,

With a speciality palate.

I’m trying to grasp,

So, the onion’s a shallot?

 

I long for the day,

When food was a breeze.

A coffee was simple,

And sweets were a tease.

 

Now latte’s are half-fat,

And waste’s on the menu.

I don’t understand,

That food’s now a venue!

 

I’ll just drink my tea,

And snack on a chip.

Maybe I’m asleep,

And this is a trip!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Felonious Fetish

I am here to confess,

To a serious crime.

I am planning it out,

It may take some time.

 

But wicked and evil,

And nasty, I’m sure.

A felonious act,

Will soon now occur.

 

I have thought it all through,

And I am going to commit.

An act so depraved,

You will deem me unfit.

 

But things now are rough,

In these desperate times.

I just may be crazy,

But still, it all rhymes!

 

I will stop using commas

And my meaning may slip.

Confusion a constant

But still sharp as a whip!

 

Now I know you are thinking

That woman is mad.

But I’ll bet you did smile

At least just a tad?

 

Then my work here is done

For the moment at least

Til the next time perhaps

When I surprise a wee beast

Ginger Snaps

I would like to share something a little different today. These are not my quotes. Someone I met here on my blog has been commenting for a while now and I think she happens to be brilliant. Unfortunately, she does not have a blog of her own. It’s a shame because I think she’s wonderful! My opinion. These are her actual words on some of my posts. Please enjoy.

 

Ginger Snaps       (another instalment)

 

From 04 September 2022 on.

Let’s virtually join hands and feel each other’s strength and determination and allow it to power us forward.

Some journeys end with us right back where we started! Very often that’s a good thing.

We have a worse pandemic of “closed minds” than we do of Covid…all over the world.

People with closed minds are the same people with open mouths…they can’t stop talking.

If something is perfect there would be no need to brag…it would be evident to all on its own merits.

Sometimes what we never envisioned turns out to be the best thing ever!

A cracked frame is like a wrinkled face…every crack, every wrinkle, tells an amazing story about us.

If we would just open our eyes to the wonders around us, we would see too.

Cracks, chinks, flaws, wrinkles are all proof of a life lived, and hopefully well lived. They are our beauty marks for all to see.

Nine times out of ten, life is only as hard as we make it!

Instead of fearing what we don’t know, we would be wise to research all we can learn about it. Poof! Fear gone!

Our imaginations need unencumbered space to work their magic! Instructions just muck it all up because they’re somebody else’s instructions and have no place in OUR imagination!

Sometimes a bit of foolishness saves the day and lightens someone’s heavy heart.

Life is too short to not live it as fully as we can.

We humans are great at mucking things up but not at leaving things alone.

 

This Christmas Morning

Christmas morning is here,

And with it the holiday cheer.

With a glass of eggnog,

It’ll clear up the fog,

Then magic will surely appear!

 

Santa has been in the night,

And he makes everything right.

From on top of a sleigh,

He guides the new day,

And suddenly everything’s bright!

 

Now this morn I wish to impart,

Words that are said from the heart.

With love and compassion,

It is the new fashion,

Perhaps we’ll get a new start!

 

This year has come to an end,

To all that I now count as friend.

The world is so big,

But I don’t give a fig,

Blessing to you all I do send!

 

Thinking

What does an elephant think about,

As he stands inside a zoo?

What passes through his mind,

As he’s looking back at you?

What does a pigeon think about,

As he soars above the crowds?

Perhaps it just a simple thing,

As he plays amongst the clouds.

A single ant is scurrying,

His job it must be done.

The others they depend on him,

The many and the one.

A crow is thinking, I can tell,

He cocks his head at me.

Is he looking at my lunch,

Does he think it’s free?

Two yellow fish are playing,

Deep beneath the sea.

I wonder what they’re thinking of

Could it be of me?

A turtle swims beneath the waves,

A carefree life at best.

But then one day he wonders,

What about the rest?

Behind, beside and over there,

Are those we do not know.

But they have thoughts and feelings,

Just like that silly crow.

What does a person think about,

And he looks upon another?

Race and colour notwithstanding,

Could he be my brother?

This crazy world that we call ours,

We’re only tenants here.

If we make nice and play together,

There is no one to fear.

The Thought Police?

What do you think about when you’re alone? If no one is looking for an answer, what is the question?  What do you ponder? Is it just before you go to sleep at night that your mind is free to wander without restraint? Do you go with it?

I’m looking at a picture of someone I have never met, someone I do not know. And I wonder what he thinks about. I wonder what the people are thinking about that I pass on the street. Are they having a good day? Are they happy and thinking about a lover. Or are they fixated on an issue they do not seem to be able to rectify?

We cannot know what another is thinking about unless they tell us. And even then, chances are good they won’t be telling us everything. Why should they? They have a right to privacy. We have a right to have deep dark corners of our minds that we do not share with any one, unless of course our deep dark fantasies are too deep, too dark and too terrifying. That in itself opens up a whole can of worms.  Think thought police…  Be afraid, be very afraid.

If we were able to hear the thoughts of another, we would run screaming into the night. We would have no context. We don’t know why they’re thinking what they are thinking, we don’t know what circumstances triggered it. Because no two people go through an experience the same way, it stands to reason that what you think about, even if it’s on the same topic, will be wildly different. And that’s a good thing.

I believe that it is our differences that compel us to create, to invent, to evolve. Quite frankly if there were too many of me the world would be in huge trouble! Even twins are different. Knowing what someone else is thinking is never a good idea. Our thoughts are the one place where we should have total privacy, total immunity from the world. Now when they stop being thoughts and become actions then it’s far more important the rest of the world knows what’s going on. Or at least those around you. After all actions have consequences. Some good, some bad.

So, to all of those who want to know what I’m thinking . . . you don’t, you really, really don’t.