Tag Archives: humour

Endlessly twisted

 

Deliciously creepy

ingenuously so.

Wicked surrounds us

from above and below.

 

The story is told

about this and of that.

Meandering journeys

of experiences pat.

 

But wait just a moment

something’s not tight.

A change unexpected

a twist to the right.

 

An unknown is coming

perhaps from behind.

An end yet unseen

a trick of the mind.

 

This story is done

a reader’s delight.

My interest was held

the ending just right.

 

I Was Abducted!

 

 

A few days ago, I was watching a documentary on sharks. I have always been fascinated by these creatures. They have been around, virtually unchanged, for millions of years. Homo Sapiens have only been around for approximately 200,000 years.  Depending on the scientist, it may be less.

This documentary showed a shark being examined, tested. It was caught and then taken out of the water by means of a platform that raised it up to where the scientists could reach it. It didn’t seem to be terribly happy about the situation but quite a few divers made sure it stayed put.  A hose through the gills helped it to continue breathing.

As a species we are curious.  We want to know why and how. We want to know everything about the creatures we share this planet with.  We document eating habits, mating habits, how they sleep, where they travel, their young . . . the list is endless.

As I watched the scientists taking blood samples, poking into orifices and attaching a tracking device to the animal, I wondered . . . It sounded eerily like a human recounting of their experience with an abduction!

I wonder what the shark did when he was released? Did he go and tell all his friends about his experience?

 

“Oh man you will never guess what happened to me! I was taken!”

“What are you talking about? Are you eating plankton again? You know, that stuff makes you see things that aren’t there.”

“No! No! It just happened this morning! They took me up to a ship, and, and, I was probed! I saw those creatures; you know the ones with black rubber skin and one big eye with two more behind it. They have got four appendages and they walk on two of them. They all look the same! And They were touching me!”

“Calm down.”

“Bob said he was abducted three weeks ago. I didn’t believe him. I do now! And I think they left a probe inside me, by my dorsal fin. Maybe they’re tracking me! Maybe they want to know where I am so they can pick me up again! I got to get out of here! I got to go somewhere where they can’t find me! I’m warning you . . . They could come for you next!”

“Nah, they were probably just seals. Look, plankton is not something you can eat on a regular basis.  It makes you hallucinate. I know you see some of the big guys eating it but you’re just not capable of holding your plankton.”

 

A Blast From The Past

This was written in September 2013.  I think perhaps not much has changed . . .

Oops, my straitjacket is slipping…

When you look up at the stars at night do you feel homesick?  Okay, okay, bad joke.  Do you know once upon a time I laughed uproariously at that joke.  I ran around and told all my preteen friends.  Yes, it’s that old.  And so am I.

As we age our funny bone seems to migrate.  For some people it ends up around the gluteus maximus.  For others humour becomes more cerebral.  I don’t know the equation to what’s funny.  I don’t even know what makes me laugh until I am actually laughing.  When was the last time you laughed so hard there were tears running down your face?  Do you remember the knee slapping, rib tickling, gut wrenching guffaws you used to hear when a group of people got together to watch a comedy film?  I don’t, at least not recently.  The last time I had one of those all-encompassing, falling on the floor cackles was watching an old movie.

The movie was ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’.  I don’t remember the movie.  I don’t even know if it was actually a comedy.  What I do remember is my boyfriend and I beating on the furniture.  We were laughing so hard we were crying.  I remember him falling on the floor and not able to catch his breath.  But I don’t remember the movie.  I remember that there was a series but it appeared to be about teenage angst (and vampire slaying) I wasn’t interested.  I had enough of that when I was a teenager! (The angst not the slaying!) Don’t get me wrong I enjoy comedy.  I’ve been known to crack a smile and even show teeth.  I just haven’t had a really good belly laugh in a very long time.

Laughter is a universal language.  It crosses borders and brings people together.  It can also alienate people and cause others to commit various forms of harm.  Of course that in itself can be funny!  But I digress.  I don’t know of any culture that doesn’t have some form of laughter.  Wouldn’t it be nice if we could laugh more and shoot less?  We spend so much of our time behaving according to the dictates of society that when we let loose it can be epic!  Find the time to laugh.  A really good guffaw exercises the whole body!