Tag Archives: humour

Not my fault!

Once again, THIS IS NOT MY FAULT!  I was minding my own business, reading the blogs I follow and I ran full tilt into THIS!  As you can see I was mercilessly coerced into . . . well . . . I was having too much fun.

Over at https://pensitivity101.wordpress.com they do this Fibbing Friday and I could not resist. To say that I am twisted would be . . . well you be the judge!

1 – 10 are from the mind of jimadamsauthordotcom.wordpress.com

11 – 20 are from https://pensitivity101.wordpress.com/

  1. Can a woodchuck chuck more wood than a woodpecker can peck?                                                                     Is this a sexual thing?
    2. If you put something where the Sun does not shine, where did it go?                                                               In the dishwasher.
    3. What did Columbus say when he landed in the New World?                                                                                 Dov’è il bagno!  (where is the bathroom!)
    4. Why was Nero playing his fiddle when Rome burned?                                                                                              Because somebody stole his harp.
    5. If you are retired, can you still observe Labor Day?                                                                                                   Only with sunglasses.
    6. Where did the Amazons come from?                                                                                                                         Upriver.
    7. Who started the Trojan War?                                                                                                                                      The Condom Companies.
    8. Since corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, where does baby oil come from?                                                                                                                                                         Baby urine.
    9. Why is the man who invests all of your money called a broker?                                                                              Because he breaks people.  Is that a sexual thing?
    10. The #2 pencil seems to be the most popular, so why doesn’t someone invent a #1 pencil?                                                                                                                                                                                 They did but the woodchuck ate it.

 

    1. If there was an Eighth Dwarf along with Bashful, Doc, Dopey, Grumpy, Happy, Sneezy and Sleepy, what would his name be?                                                                                                              Confucius.  Oh wait, wrong story.
      12. Why are zebras striped?                                                                                                                                So they don’t get run over by the elephants.
      13. If the Love Bug hadn’t been a volkswagon beetle, what would it have been?                             A Dung Beetle.
      14.Why aren’t we on Cloud 10 when we’re happy?                                                                                         Cause that’s where you go with your hangover.
      15. Why do we draw curtains?                                                                                                                               Because painting them is so last year.
      16. What is the difference between cottage pie and shepherd’s pie?                                                          Inside/outside.
      17. Are wine gums alcoholic?                                                                                                                                 Do they go to AA meetings?
      18. What’s the best way to diet?                                                                                                                           At a distance
      19. What is a homonym?                                                                                                                                     A dwarf’s house
      20. Why do witches always seem to wear stripey socks?                                                                              So the elephants don’t run over them