Tag Archives: responsibility

Taking Responsibility

Two little words. Actually they are not so little and neither is their meaning. Taking Responsibility is something that is often not done and always should be. And who gets the blame? Well, of course, everyone else. Lately it’s the Millennial’s. A generation of young people whose name is usually used before or after a snide comment.

It isn’t their fault, usually. Their parents, and that generation, was so hell bent on protecting the children of the next-generation that in doing so, insulated them too far. They grew up not knowing what it was like to fail. Failure is part of the learning curve. We have to learn how to deal with disappointment and rejection and angst.   It’s all part of the process. If, as a child you’re always told that you are perfect and can do no wrong then as an adult you will continue to believe it.

My generation was so proud of getting away from the Me Generation that we boomerang straight into the Fear Generation. And it’s all our fault, mostly.

Our world will one day be run by the Millennial’s. They will one day be leaders of industry, politicians and law makers. Hopefully their childhood of fear will segue into caring and competent adults. I am an unrepentant optimist. I believe that not all of them are quite as clueless as so many appear to be. But it will not be easy.

Mistakes were made in the past and the past never goes away. What is that saying: ‘if you forget your past, you’re doomed to repeat it.’ It’s entirely possible I have forgotten the exact quote, but you get the gist. I’ve often heard the youth dismissing what has gone on in the past. I have heard that is archaic and is not relevant. It is comments like that, that makes one wonder if they have what it takes to survive.

A few years ago power went out over a great deal of Central Canada and the northern states. I wasn’t significantly bothered. It was in the summertime but it wasn’t too hot and I simply had a cold dinner that night. Traffic lights were out, subways were out, even cell towers were down. The power was out for I believe up to 12 hours, or more, in some areas. There was a lot of trouble in the cities with traffic lights etc.

What I found particularly telling in this whole situation was the furor brought on by the inability of people to use their cell phones. And lights! I had people knocking on my door because they heard I had candles. These people did not know what to do when the lights went out. They didn’t have candles because, well, there is a light on their cell phone. People honestly said that to me. They could not conceive of their being no electricity.

Such a little thing as no lights and the world goes to hell? Not in my generation. You put a candle in a glass in one hand, a bottle of beer in the other and you’ve got a date. If the Millennial’s cannot learn to adapt then I’m glad I won’t be here to see it.

Reflections

cityescape

Reflections

I am in a reflective mood today. I am thinking back through the times in my life and I am wondering if the paths I chose, the decisions I made were the right ones. Do you ever wonder how things would be if you had chosen a different path? Usually I don’t ask myself questions that have no answers, usually. I guess I am wondering if I did the right things when there was a choice and did I make a difference? Did I help or did I hinder? Have I been honourable in the choices I have made? Do I have any regrets? Yes. I was cruel to a friend almost forty years ago and I still feel shame. She has probably forgotten me and those days but those incidents, those friends helped to shape the person I eventually became. Today I will not knowingly cause another pain.

Do you ever wonder what influence you might have on someone? Do you ever think that being nasty to someone might have a consequence you cannot even imagine? Every action we take can and does have an effect somewhere. It might only be affecting us but that in itself that can cause a chain reaction that can have unknown consequences to us and to other people. I realize that this sounds like circular logic but it does force us to take responsibility for our actions. Just because you have a few difficulties does not release you from your obligations to the rest of the world. We do not live in insular little rooms where what we think and do affects no one. Everything has consequences and we must take responsibility for what we do and who we are.

The fact that I cannot walk and that I am in a wheelchair forces me to take responsibility for how I act. As I have said before: you cannot run over other people’s feet when you are annoyed. But it goes deeper than that. No one is at fault for my condition. I am not at fault. I have met too many people who feel that someone should pay because they have a disability. I have met people who blame anyone who is in better shape physically, financially, or emotionally than they are. That is just silly. If someone causes me pain then I expect them to atone, but I am not going to spend the next fifty years complaining about it. There are some things that are no one’s fault. It is time people stopped looking for someone to blame and just got on with doing the right thing. If something is broken, spend your time fixing it not trying to find someone to blame for the damage. Granted, it does make sense to discover how the damage happened in the first place so it doesn’t happen again, but that is secondary. Ah yes, that responsibility issue again. You would almost think it was a new concept the way everyone tries to avoid taking it.

D.N.A.

man on edge

Do Not Annoy, Dastardly Narcissistic A-hole,  Damn, Nearly Away, DeoxyriboNucleic Acid .

Three little letters.  Or should I say three big letters?  Those three letters can make or break a criminal case in a court of law.  But what do they mean to you and me,  living our lives day-to-day?  It comes back to the question of nature versus nurture.  You hear people complaining that their DNA is the reason they are nasty or have pimples.  To some extent that is correct.  I had pimples as a child and it probably was because somewhere in my genetic makeup somebody had pimples.  But to blame my genetic makeup for being a jerk?  That I find….Irritating.

I am tired of hearing criminals blame the fact that they have committed crimes of such heinous nature as to almost be unbelievable on the fact they had a wet diaper when they were two.  Scientists will tell you that a great deal of who and what we are can be traced back to our ancestors.  On this I will concur.  But don’t use the fact that my ancestor was a bully to colour me with the same brush.  I am not my ancestor in the same way that I am not my brother or my sister.  I love and admire both of them but I am an individual.  I am myself.  Any blame with regards to malfeasance is mine and mine alone.

Children are being raised today to blame others for their actions.  I was reprimanded in seventh grade and I bear the scars to this day.  Horse hockey!  Or if you prefer: Bull crap!  While indeed we are the product of our upbringing as well as our DNA we also have free will.  Hopefully as children we were taught responsibility as well as compassion and integrity.  Nurture is important but so is nature.  One has the ability to supersede the other if one is lacking.  Time and time again people have proven that they can rise above their less than humble beginnings or the abusive nature of their nurturing.  People have the ability to be great but they have to believe and sometimes that is difficult.

Parents have the most difficult job in the world.  It is their responsibility to raise children to improve society.  Unfortunately sometimes they never know if they have succeeded or failed.  Children also have responsibilities.  We don’t always know what it is that is lacking in ourselves and in others.  That’s why we need each other. We live in a world with other people. We can help one another.  The more we connect, the stronger we become and the better our world will be.