Tag Archives: smile

Weather related…

It really is too hot to think so I am using a piece I wrote in July 2013.  To be honest, we are experiencing almost the same weather this week!

We all know that a beautiful summer day makes us feel good.  We all know that a miserable rainy day can make us feel, well, miserable.  In my part of the country we have just come through a very bad week in terms of weather.  It was hot, hazy and humid!  In fact Wednesday was the hottest day with the humidex at 46°C/114.9°F!  For those of you who don’t live in a country where you regularly count the humidex it is simply a means by which they calculate how hot the humid air actually feels.  And I felt bloody hot!

I have also noticed, over the years, that people’s demeanour is strongly related to what is happening in our weather.  I suffer from migraines when the air pressure changes significantly.  When it is very cold I find people become short tempered and easily offended.  The same is usually true when it is humid and sticky outside.  No woman can feel attractive when she is sweating.  At least not the women I know.  Men however really don’t care.  Of course I’m generalizing!  There are more than 7 billion people in this world I have no idea how even a fraction of them feel.  But I know how I feel.

We have no control over the weather.  We think we can predict it, but even then it’s not 100% perfect.  And I don’t think we even have 70% control over our own reactions to the weather.  We like to think that as Homo sapiens we are in control of our lives and our surroundings.  The truth is significantly different!  We are creatures that are hostages to our emotions.  Men especially don’t like to admit that, but women know the truth.  The weather can wreck havoc with our judgment.  One grumpy person can ruin the day for any number of people.  And they might be grumpy simply because the weather is too hot or too cold or too windy or too calm.  We still haven’t learned how to control our emotions and our reactions to others’ emotions.

I once worked a midnight shift at a Police Department.  I was a civilian manning the computers.  On this particular Friday the 13th there was a full moon.  It was the busiest midnight I had ever worked as well as the craziest!  Now there are those who say that people are not affected by the weather or something as silly as the position of the moon.  After working that Friday the 13th I beg to differ!  I’m quite sure the statistics will prove that when it’s hot, hazy and humid burglaries are down and domestic assaults are up.  It all has to do with the weather.

I am not a scientist and I do not have concrete statistics to back up my beliefs, but I’ll bet there are reports out there that will confirm what I believe.  So the next time it’s hot, hazy and humid don’t annoy your neighbour.  And have a nice day!

WHO?

 

Who would I be

If I couldn’t be me?

If the she

That’s not me

Would perhaps be a he

Then the me

That you’d see

Wouldn’t be me.

 

I think that the me

this moment you see

is probably a she

cuz a he

That is me

Would probably flee

Now please disagree

if too silly you see.

 

 

So now I’m  a me

That maybe I’d be

If I’m not the me

that I used to be

when looking you’d see

Where would I be

If I couldn’t be me?

Perhaps by the sea.

 

I’d want to be free

And yes by the sea

Beneath a wide tree

with a glass of ice tea

I think that the me

That still is a she

Has feelings of glee

Don’t you agree?

 

What would you do

If you couldn’t be you?

 

 

Shady Quip

If it ain’t broke . . . first hire a consulting firm to determine if it truly is not broken.  Then an environmental agency will need to do a study to assess the ramifications to the environs should changes be required.  Then a societal report will need to be filed in triplicate with various agencies who need to justify their budgets.  And finally if it ain’t broke . . . break it.

One of Those Days

Do you every have one of those days when everything goes wrong? You get out of the wrong side of the bed in the middle of the night and step on to something wet and cold. Perhaps it’s a wet facecloth that escaped from the bathroom in a bid for freedom. It could happen. Couldn’t it? As you stand there trying desperately to ignore your expanding bladder you distinctly remember the retching noises your cat made that you chose to ignore as you were getting into bed. The midnight fairies won’t clean THAT up!

You stumble your way to the kitchen after a quick stop to take care of your business and there’s no power for the coffee maker. No coffee . . .NO COFFEE!!! No, don’t do it! Don’t ask if this day could get any worse . . .

You accept defeat. You have to get up in a few hours anyway so you might just as well start now. The coffee is set up to complete its morning task and a couple of slices of bread are placed in front of the toaster, a jar of peanut butter nestled close by. The breakfast of champions.

Next, a nice hot shower to clear the cobwebs from your brain. Clean hair, clean body, clean mind. Unfortunately, because your mind is still on the noxious substance you just scraped off your foot (What does that cat eat when you are not around?) you don’t notice the bar of soap lounging at the bottom of the shower. Well, you notice it when your big foot makes contact with it. You are surprised when you come to several minutes later and there are no police and/or paramedics in attendance. You distinctly remember a banshee screaming as your face abruptly connected with the floor. Bruised and battered you decide you can skip the shower just this once.

So you limp back to the kitchen only to discover the power to the coffee maker is still not on. It has been threatening to die for weeks and you really should have replaced it, but you didn’t. There will be no coffee here this morning. Toast without coffee? You can pick something up on the way to the office.

Your interest in the day is waning but you have a responsibility, a duty, to put your angst aside and show up for work on time. Your antics this morning notwithstanding it’s time to move. Daily ablutions completed you pat yourself on the back for coming through relatively unscathed. If you comb your hair just so, the bruising is barely noticeable.

Suitably attired you make your way to the garage and to the love of your life: it is small and beautiful and it purrs as it slides into second gear. Perhaps not a practical vehicle but you look fabulous in it! Ok, ok, so it is a little temperamental and stalls when it rains but the guy you bought it off swears that it is just getting used to a new driver and in a few weeks it will work perfectly.

As you turn the key for the fifth time you realize that the car is still not used to you. If it won’t start after five tries, it will not start today. Sigh.

And it is at that precise moment you make a horrifying discovery: today is Saturday. You don’t work on Saturdays!