I’m taking my bumblebee for a walk
He likes to drink you see
Floral syrup is his brew
He gets it all for free!
I’m taking my Robin for a walk
He flies from tree to tree
It’s hard for me to keep abreast
When Robin’s on a spree
I’m taking my butterfly for a walk
He likes to drink each day
Nectar is his beverage
A sip and he’s on his way
I love to walk with all my friends
They have so much to say
If only I could understand
Then maybe they would stay
A smile is a curve that can set a lot of things straight.
A true friend is someone who will indulge your silly side.
Some people have a winning smile and a losing personality.
Everyone wants to see a smile on a child’s face. Unless it’s from gas.
A Gaggle of Geese
A Murder of Crows
A Hummingbird Charm
It’s what everyone knows
A Bellowing of Bullfinches
A Cloud of Seafowls
I think we’re aloft
With a Parliament of Owls
But are you aware
Of a Surfeit of Skunks
A Blessing of Unicorns
Or a Struggle of Drunks
An Unction of Undertakers
A Cowardice of Curs
A Converting of Preachers
This knowledge ensures
People will leave you
In Flocks and in Gangs
A Blush or a Shuffle
With tails and with fangs
Control is the answer
To the question of how
To influence groups
We label them now
People who know me, know that I love words. I love to write them. I love to speak them. And to a lesser degree, I love to hear them. I have also been known to spend my days waffling through tangents galore. But I digress.
I was recently commenting on a blog using the words “whale piss”. Yes, it was a humorous reaction to a comment on his blog that was hilarious. The entire exchange can be found at: http://www.thewhelkwordpress.com.
It actually made me start to wonder about how aquatic animals urinate. With the billions of creatures in the oceans and the fact that much of it is connected, leaves an odd feeling in my stomach. I have swum in the ocean. And I have tasted it’s salty water. Oh my god it’s a urinal! It is! It is! They poop there too! How can they ever get clean?
When birds poop it usually lands on the ground. Occasionally it ends up on someone’s head. Animals in the forest poop on the leaves. And fish in the streams . . . Well you get the drift. Humans aren’t much better. We are civilized though and we use containers to hold our excrement. And then we flush it away . . . to our lakes and oceans. Doesn’t it make you want to rethink the whole idea of taking a swim!
Now you might also want to rethink the food you’re putting in your mouth. Do you know what the best fertilizer is? Okay I don’t know if it’s the best but there are so many uses for it in the real world that it is mind-boggling. Poop. Dried elephant poop makes a great fire starter. Bat guano (poop) is highly prized in some parts of the world. It gives a whole new understanding to the phrase “shooting the shit”.
When you take your oh so sanctimonious walk in the park think very carefully about what is landing on you. There are trillions upon trillions of teeny, tiny terminators that reside in the bodies of bugs. If it goes in, it has to come out. Their teeny tiny dung is in the air my friends. We are breathing it in!
The next time you hear someone talking about how our world is a cesspool you can agree. Problem is they’re speaking metaphorically and you’re thinking literally. From lowly shit a mighty world did grow.
My mouth doesn’t have a filter. But it does have good taste!
For some people it just hurts too much when they smile.
I was alone. I had no back up, no support. I braved it myself. With no thought for my own safety, my own well-being. I can’t believe I had the courage. I did. I went to a shopping mall at Christmas time!
Now to some people it might not sound like that big a deal. I know, I know, a little retail therapy. There were specific items I needed to pick up and unfortunately the only place to do that was in ……a mall. Shudder! I find malls to be a questionably obligatory evil of modern society.
I needed a couple of candles, red of course. I needed suction hooks for my window, chicken stock, and most importantly stamps. I have to get my Christmas cards out next week. So I braved the horrors of the local mall to get the items I needed. Fortunately I had some time to sit and ‘people watch’, which I will admit is a personal guilty pleasure. But I did see some rather amusing individuals.
I was sitting watching the entrance to the mall for only a few moments when this lovely woman came in with her friend. She had a perfect little smile on her face. However it disappeared so quickly I can only assume it was gas. Her friend had no such smile. Most of the people fell into an age group that wasn’t usually working during the day. One woman I know was 82, she told me. Hey, I’ll chat with anybody that wants to talk to me. There was one child who believed it was his duty in life to make sure everyone within a 3 mile radius heard him. Ouch!
There were the individuals who hustled in and then stopped for the briefest of seconds. They would settle their shoulders, heave a big sigh and step forward as if they were going to their doom. Maybe they were: Christmas shopping! There were the women that came in in a group and none of them looked happy. They were scowling so hard it was painful to see. Obviously they were on a mission and would not be swayed by societal niceties. There were angry ones and clueless one who walked in as if they had been sniffing something illegal. And there were the timid ones. They seem to sneak in hoping no one was watching. They didn’t even open the door all the way, just enough to let them slither in.
I sat there for about 30 minutes and I could probably count on one hand the number of people that had a genuine smile on their face. That 82-year-old woman I mentioned? She had a smile that lit up the room. I guess I smiled back and that’s why she stopped and chatted with me. We talked for a few moments then she gave me a hug and I felt blessed.
Christmas is supposed to be a time of giving and of peace. None of that exists at the shopping malls. The sales staff are harried and probably exhausted. The shoppers want only to find the perfect deal and escape back to their own insanity. This season has become unhinged. We buy gifts for people who don’t really want them. We spend too much money and too little thought. The most precious time of the celebration to me is when my family is together. We enjoy each other’s company. That’s what makes Christmas special to me.