Tag Archives: whimsy

On the Wall

 

                           A fly on the wall

                          We’d all like to be

                          A different perspective

                         On the world we would see.

 

No one would know

That we were so near

Gathering gossip

On those we hold dear.

 

Our size makes it easy

To wander about

Close and then far

Even inside and out.

 

There’s only one problem

I can see from this blotter

Wielded with accuracy

The dreaded fly swatter!

Make it stop Mama!

 

When I was a child I had an annoying habit of making sounds. Nonsensical noises came out of my mouth. I would hum, make clicking sounds or pop, pop, pop. I would tap walls as I walked by. It drove my mother mad. Figuratively not literally!

Often I would hear my mother say “If you keep pursing your lips like that they may stay!” The idea of going around with my lips in the kissing formation was a sobering thought. But it was hard to stop. When friends at school started turning around at my odd noises, I pretty well suspended that portion of my higher education. The teachers never knew where the sounds came from. I wasn’t about to tell!

Move ahead a few decades. I have never had a singing voice. Speaking or sound effects, yes. That I can do. I joined the choir in high school but when it was decided that everyone should have a chance to shine by singing a solo, I quit. I love to sing but not where anyone could hear me! I have spent many great hours singing in my car with the windows up. I would sing with wild abandon, when I was alone.

Move ahead a few decades. No longer driving a car, I no longer sing. But I also find I have a lower tolerance for sound. And as quiet as my apartment may be, it ain’t silent! As I sit at my computer I can hear a couple of clocks ticking, I can hear the fans moving quietly blowing cool air through my apartment. My refrigerator works through the cycle and it starts to hum for a few seconds. It’s not really aggravating, it’s just there, like a white noise.

Now I’m starting to listen carefully. I can hear the cars go by on the street below my window. I can hear people talking, or perhaps it’s one person talking on phone. I can hear the wind whistling through the few trees that are close by. I like that sound. If I’m very quiet I can hear a faint roar from the highway that is not too far away. Occasionally I can hear a train. I love trains. Depending on the time of day the birds can be quite active down here. In the morning it’s the songbirds. Midafternoon, the gulls.   They are quite noisy! Oh, there it is: the ubiquitous beep, beep, beep, a truck backing up. I hate that!

These are sounds from a first world country. There is affluence here and people are happy (mostly).   I hear car alarms and laughter, I hear shouting and cell phone rings. I don’t hear gunfire or tsunamis. I don’t hear angry protests or children crying from fear and hunger. I wonder if people who are deaf actually experience real silence. I wonder what it would be like to experience that. I wonder about a lot of things. Sometimes it’s quite scary!

Ode to a New Love

 

In a room full of people, I knew

That moment I truly was hooked

Together we simply must be

It wasn’t just the way that you looked.

 

Everyone needs a true love

Someone who makes your heart quiver

All through the day and into the night

You make my skin start to shiver.

 

Your breath touches my arm and I smile

You embrace my body at night

Enclose me, protect me

Make everything right.

 

The days we’re together are cool

Even though the heat can be felt

The nights once were unkind

But you have a way and they melt.

 

I wish others could know of this joy

So I have become a petitioner

My summer consort becomes

My love, my air conditioner.

I’m Just Say’n!

 

My first time on earth

Was the moment of birth

When my feet hit the ground

I was running!

 

Move on a few years

Through laughter and tears

And I ain’t stopping

For nuthin!

 

They say time catches on

To where I have gone

The ravages will show

Notwithstanding.

 

That’s really just fine

I think it’s a sign

Cuz now I am running

on wheels.

 

Life is for living

And it’s all I am giving

I think I’ll be here

For a while!

Rainbow Moments

 

A second in time

Never before seen

But special the colour

In blue, red and green.

 

So very dear

And then it is gone

But the memory remains

With each breath that is drawn.

 

A vision in colour

It plays in your mind

Your life becomes sweeter

The memory entwined.

 

Believe in yourself

Be the best you can be

And those moments of rainbows

You always will see.

Perfection

Double, double, boil and bubble

A wise one once declared,

Never stir and never spill

And soon it could be shared.

Loose and free as God declared

A leaf upon the breeze,

Captured and contained I fear

But never, never freeze.

Slowly steeping all is good

Time will make it be,

And just a minute later

A perfect cup of tea!

Conversations With Myself

Have you wondered what advice you would give yourself if you could meet the younger you?       I have. And so to aid in that little experiment I took a hypothetical stroll through my memories. It was an interesting jaunt.

Now you think I would go back just far enough to make a difference but not so far back as to terrify myself. The infant stage is much too young for paranormal activities. We might be more open to them at that age but I don’t think we have the mental capacity to analyze and internalize the incident for it to be at all helpful. It would become part of our dreams or our mythology. Not helpful.

In the teenage years we might have the mental capacity to understand it but would we have the experience to incorporate and benefit from the information? Let’s face it, the teenage years are often full of angst and indecision.  We don’t want to stand out from the crowd too much and accepting information from any future you is just a bit too ‘out there’.

Now our 20s and 30s are the perfect time. We are starting to get our footing into a career and to understand the thought processes required to function in society. We are beginning to manifest the courage to become the individual we always wanted to be. So perhaps that would be the perfect time to get reacquainted. I wonder how that would go? In the wee hours of the night a conversation might go something like this:

 

”Hello me!”

“Say, what? Man that sushi must’ve been bad! Or maybe I have a tumour. Are you a tumour?”

Laughing quietly, “No, I’m not a tuna or a tumour! I am you in 40 years! Is there anything you would like to ask me? I have so much to tell you to make your life better!”

“Got any winning lottery numbers?”

(Damn, I never thought of that! Why didn’t I think of lottery numbers?) “I’m not here with easy fixes. I’m here to help the you that you are today be better for tomorrow. “

“That sounds like cheating. Do I become a cheater?”

“Er, no, I just thought that you could benefit from the experiences I have gained by living         my life.”

“But that’s not my life.”

“Well, yes it is because I’m you.”

No you’re not. You’re the you from 40 years in the future. I’m not you,

I’m me.

 

And that in a nutshell is why it would never work. The person I am today is not the person I was 40 years ago and the only way to become the person I am today is to live those 40 years. There ain’t no shortcuts in life!

Damn!

April Fools’ Day

I live in a part of the world that celebrates April Fools’ Day on the first day of April. I don’t know how it all got started, there are theories, but it is the one day of the year when we actually celebrate ‘the silly’. It is when the crazy folk interact with the normal folk and the normal folk get a little crazy.

Every year we pull practical jokes on each other. Most are funny, some are hilarious and some . . . not so much. It’s one of the few days of the year when it’s acceptable for adults to behave like children and children to go hog-wild. It can also be one of the most terrifying days of the year! After all, somebody has to have the trick played on them.

Now most pranks are pretty ordinary. Exchanging sugar for salt or vice versa, putting a note on someone’s car apologizing for the damage then watch them go over their car diligently looking for said damage. But there was one April Fools’ Day prank that topped them all.

It happened in 1957 on April 1. The BBC put out a three minute report about a family in Switzerland ‘gathering’ their harvest of spaghetti trees after a mild winter. The report was further legitimized by using footage of a traditional ‘Harvest Festival’ along with discussing how to produce the perfect strain of spaghetti that would be the correct length. The report was so well-done that there were consequences.

At the time spaghetti was something exotic, that came in a tin with tomato sauce. No one knew about pasta. The people didn’t know where spaghetti came from. Hundreds phoned in to the BBC to ask how they could grow their own spaghetti trees. Supposedly the BBC told them to “place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best”.

Now that’s a practical joke! What are you doing today?